


strong as the steel we carry (we rise like the sun)

by catradora (femmereddie)



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: (referring to shadow weaver), Adora is Bad at Feelings, Also Very Minor, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friend Squad (She-Ra), Canon Compliant, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Catra (She-Ra)-centric, Catra Has Issues (She-Ra), Catra is Bad at Feelings (She-Ra), Character Development, Character Study, Childhood Friends, Confessions, Cute, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Domestic Fluff, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Episode: s05e05 Save The Cat, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, First Love, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Girls Kissing, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Kissing, Like very minor, Love Confessions, Mental Breakdown, Minor Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Minor Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra), Missing Scene, POV Catra (She-Ra), Past Abuse, Redemption, Revenge, Saving the World, Self-Denial, Self-Reflection, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, True Love's Kiss, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Tension, kind of, they're in love but they're both terrible at feelings your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:47:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 37,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24634792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmereddie/pseuds/catradora
Summary: A collection of drabbles from canon moments over the course of She-Ra, Catra/Adora related.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Mara (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow & Catra & Glimmer (She-ra), Catra & Double Trouble (She-Ra), Catra & Entrapta (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra & Melog (She-Ra), Catra & Perfuma (She-Ra), Catra & Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 100





	1. S01E09 No Princess Left Behind

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction for She-Ra, so please be kind! Constructive criticism always welcome, and comments greatly appreciated. <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Catra's thoughts when she gave Adora her sword back on S01E09 "No Princess Left Behind."

“Take it.”

Adora squinted at her sword, hesitating.

“This is _not_ because I like you,” Catra added quickly. She forced herself to spit the words out of her mouth; she couldn’t even look at Adora when she said them.

Adora took the sword from Catra’s hands and looked at her again. God, every time Adora looked at her, especially now, after everything…

“Catra, I—”

“Just… get out of here.” Catra said. She could not meet Adora’s gaze, not after their torn relationship. Adora may not care anymore, but Catra sure did, and the last thing Catra wanted Adora to see was her vulnerability.

“ _For the honor of Grayskull!_ ”

Catra shielded her face from Adora’s transformation and used the opportunity to escape unnoticed. Slowly making her way back to her quarters, Catra held her head in her hands, not quite believing what she just did. She knew she wouldn’t get punished for it, thanks to Shadow Weaver’s insistence on taking credit for Catra’s plan. At least, she hoped she wouldn’t.

On the one hand, Catra couldn’t believe she’d let Adora take her powers back, and put the Horde at a considerable disadvantage. However, on the other hand, Catra could believe it, because regardless of the current circumstances, Catra still cared. She still seethed that Adora _abandoned_ her for a group of silly princesses she’s known for barely a few weeks. Catra was her _best friend_ since they were practically born. Catra could never fathom how Adora so carelessly threw their friendship away like it was nothing—like _she_ was nothing. Catra had been feeling a lot of nothing in the weeks since Adora left for Bright Moon, consumed with jealousy over how Adora fit into her new life so flawlessly. Catra was left behind, struggling to pick up _her_ mess. Leaving her alone at the mercy of Shadow Weaver and the Horde.

Catra may have been feeling nothing, but she knew she was strong; she was a survivor. No matter how many times Shadow Weaver pushed her down, Catra would be more determined to rise in the ranks and prove that she was the leader Shadow Weaver craved. _She_ would be the one to finally bring Bright Moon to their knees, and Etheria would ultimately belong to the Horde. Maybe Catra would even feel whole again, showing Adora that she chose the wrong side, that she should have stayed with her from the beginning.

But sometimes, Catra wished that she had gone with Adora when her friend offered. Catra would stay up late at night, unable to sleep, tossing and turning about the _what-ifs_. Still, Catra would force herself to abandon those thoughts, telling herself this was for the best. She wasn’t meant to be good. She was meant to be strong and powerful. After all, if her best friend, the only person she ever loved (and would always love), felt no regret in leaving her, then Catra knew she didn’t need anybody. She needed power. The Horde ended up being right after all.

But that didn’t stop Catra from secretly wishing that Adora had just stayed. That they could have risen in the ranks in the Horde and overtake Etheria together. Side by side, best friends, and maybe one day, lovers. But there was no hope now, because regardless of Catra’s persistent feelings, Adora and Catra fought each other, rather than together.

And through it all, Catra still loved Adora. 


	2. S01E11 Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra's reaction to her final memory in the simulation on S01E11 "Promise."

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Catra couldn’t look away from her memory, as much as she wanted to. As much as it hurt her, and as much as she wished to relieve herself of the pain, she just couldn’t.

“Come on, let’s go back out,” Young Adora said, tugging Young Catra along.

Catra watched her younger self turn back for a few moments, staring right through her, wistfully. God, she looked so broken for a young child. Young Catra had barely begun to live, yet her face bore a thousand years of experience she didn’t have. Then, the child turned and walked away. Catra watched her leave, unable to reach out to her, but even if she could, Catra doubted her younger self would listen. Young Catra would blindly follow Adora until the ends of the earth. Even now, a part of Catra still would, and just thinking about that made her angry.

As the simulation glitched out, a light switched on in Catra’s head. She couldn’t believe she didn’t think of it before. Looking back at her childhood memories with Adora, remembering her decision to give Adora her sword back—it all made sense. Catra already knew she didn’t want Adora to come back to the Horde, but now she knew _why_.

 _Adora made Catra weak_. Whenever Adora was around, Catra used her as a crutch. She relied too much on Adora. Adora loved taking care of her, always knowing just what to say to make her feel better, but never actually _helping_ her. Catra would greedily devour Adora’s comforting lies, the same way that Adora loved to feed them. And even though a part of Catra broke when Adora left, that part was replaced with a better, more vibrant piece. She became the force captain she knew she was meant to be. She worked stronger, faster, harder. Shadow Weaver may still hate her, but Catra didn’t need her. She proved she was strong on her own, at her best without anyone to depend on. Catra had a couple of people to use as a means to an end—thanks Scorpia and Entrapta—a team that answered to her, and Lord Hordak’s approval. It was more than enough for her.

Catra thrummed with excitement; she had never felt so alive as she did at that moment. She found a reason why Adora’s abandonment hurt so much—it forced Catra to come out of her shell, whether she was ready or not.

With a new spring in her step, Catra made her way across the citadel. She didn’t want to look too much into her newfound observations. She knew if she did, she would recognize that believing she was stronger without Adora was only an excuse to hide her true feelings. She finally had something to reassure her brain when her heart took over her body. Besides, Catra couldn’t dwell on it too much, even if she wanted to. She had something to take care of—well, _someone_ —before she went back to the Horde. Nothing and no one could stop her now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These were the drabbles I wrote for the first season, second season drabbles will be posted when I finish watching it! Thanks everyone for reading, comments and feedback always appreciated <3
> 
> (Also shoutout to ell for reviewing the drabbles before posting you're the best)


	3. S02E05 White Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora's thoughts after returning home from the Northern Reach.

Several hours later, long after Adora and her friends returned from the Northern Reach, Adora lay in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Her body was exhausted—she could feel it in her bones—but her mind refused to let her rest.

Adora may have been entirely out of it when she was tethered to the First Ones artifact, but it didn’t mean that she forgot what happened. If anything, she wished she could forget. But she’ll always remember Scorpia’s seething jealousy. The pain and defeat Scorpia portrayed in her voice. Scorpia was so vulnerable when she spoke about her feelings for Catra. Her frustration. Adora wished she could be like that.

 _She’s misunderstood, you of all people should know that! I mean, you grew up together. I can’t compete with that._ The words continued to ring in Adora’s head, blocking her from a good night’s sleep. Scorpia had a point to what she said—Adora and Catra were close. Despite being sworn enemies now, whenever they faced each other, there were still whispers of a relationship that had once so deep; it could slice steel. Their friendship was supposed to be unbreakable, but then it broke, and in many ways, Adora blamed herself for it.

Maybe if Adora hadn’t left… _no_. Catra made her choice, and Adora gave her several chances to join the Rebellion. She had to stop feeling guilty for Catra’s decisions. There was nothing Adora could have said or done that would have made Catra change her mind, and Adora couldn’t stay with the Horde. She had to leave. She could have never forgiven herself if she chose to remain.

Yet, Adora couldn’t stop agonizing over Catra. She worried about her. She always had, ever since they were kids. Adora knew that Catra was a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off. Catra always had trouble channeling her feelings; she was always emotional. Caring is a beautiful characteristic to have, but since Adora discovered the price of caring too much, she worried about Catra falling apart and having nobody there for her. Adora always had Catra’s back, but she joined The Rebellion, and suddenly, Catra had no one.

Of course, Catra could take care of herself, Adora knew that. Catra was one of, if not, the strongest people she ever knew, but Adora always felt partially responsible for her ex-best friend. Adora dragged Catra through a lot of mischiefs, and Catra would blindly follow, trusting Adora faithfully. Adora knew that when she left, she must have shattered Catra’s trust in people in general. Adora figured that Catra wouldn’t have anyone she’d be able to trust ever again, but then, Adora met Scorpia. 

Looking back, it was so obvious to Adora that Scorpia had feelings for Catra. At the same time, Adora understood Scorpia’s frustration with being unable to break down Catra’s walls. Adora felt responsible for that—she was the one that forced Catra to build a fortress around her own heart. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop Scorpia, and Adora genuinely admired Scorpia’s patience and persistence. She wished she was able to grace those qualities. Scorpia would turn out to be a better friend than Adora ever could be because of those qualities.

Adora sighed and turned over in her bed, a wave of relief washing over her. Even if Catra never let Scorpia entirely in, Adora knew that Scorpia would never give up. Catra would always have someone to look out for her. To have her back when Adora couldn’t, even though she wanted to. Scorpia would be there when the world closed in on Catra. Catra could fall a hundred times, but Scorpia would catch her on every single one. Then, Scorpia would hold Catra through every step until she was steady on her feet again. This realization made Adora sleepy, now that she knew someone would always be there for Catra, even if Catra didn’t want them. She had someone anyway, and so Adora was grateful for Scorpia. In more ways than Scorpia will ever know.

Adora remembered what Scorpia had said shortly after admitting defeat. _You two. Even when you’re trying to kill each other, you could tell there’s a real bond there._ This observation did not pierce Adora the way Scorpia’s other one did. In fact, it was reassuring. No matter what happened, no matter how far apart they’re torn from each other, Adora and Catra still had a sacred bond. Nobody could take that away, no matter how grim things may seem.

So, Adora fell asleep, Scorpia’s words soothing her like a lullaby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! feedback always welcomed. thanks ell for reviewing this <3


	4. S03E01 The Price of Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra's last thoughts before facing Hordak's punishment.

As Scorpia’s footsteps grew fainter, Catra leaned back against the wall of her prison cell, feeling utterly defeated. She slid to the ground, unable to feel anything but the numbness that froze her body.

_Caring about people is what got me into this mess._ Boy, was she ever right. It wasn’t even about Shadow Weaver’s betrayal; it goes far beyond that, at this point. Catra’s downfall wasn’t falling for Shadow Weaver’s trick; it was _why_ she fell for it in the first place.

Catra was desperate to feel loved, to feel like someone truly needed her. So, she fell for the mind games, secretly hoping that Shadow Weaver was telling the truth. And when Shadow Weaver betrayed her, Catra finally realized why she craved love—Adora. Catra’s desperation was born out of the feelings she had when Adora left the Horde. When Adora left _her_.

It always comes back to Adora. No matter what Catra does, everything that goes wrong in her life is because she cared too much about _Adora_. The worst part was, it still bothered Catra that Adora left without a second thought. Adora was the one who abandoned the dreams they always had of ruling Etheria side by side. Catra remained faithful to her friend for all these years, and for what? Just to get carelessly tossed like trash, without a second thought? Catra gave Adora her all, and Adora left. She left because some stupid princess rebellion that she discovered not five minutes prior meant more to her than Catra ever did. Even now, long after Catra placed her heart in a protected prison, Adora still somehow got to Catra. She still managed to make Catra _care_. Adora was Catra’s weakness, no matter how much Catra tried to push Adora out. Catra wished she could scream at Adora, make her hurt the way she hurt Catra. At the very least, make Adora care as much as Catra did, but Catra knew no matter what happened, nothing would ever change.

Because in the end, Catra meant _nothing_ to Adora, but Adora was _everything_ to Catra. No one had ever fueled Catra’s feelings the way Adora had. Adora was the reason Catra cared too much, and ultimately, the reason for her downfall.   



	5. S03E03 Once Upon a Time in the Waste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora's conversation, which led to Catra's decision to return to the Fright Zone.

“I have to go check on the prisoner.”

Catra walked away from Scorpia, mulling over her words. _We could, you know, be happy_. Catra couldn’t even remember the last time she was truly happy. It had to have been before Adora left for Bright Moon. Could she let herself be happy again? She had a new band of subjects who were loyal to her. Scorpia as her right hand woman. And it wasn’t like the Crimson Waste had new visitors every day. It was a large chunk of land, and Catra could have it all. Maybe she could even let Adora go, for real. Being at peace didn’t seem so far out of reach anymore.

Before Catra opened the prison door, she took a deep breath, determined to remain resilient in front of Adora.

“Catra, you can’t do this!” Adora shouted, still struggling against the restraints.

“Well, hello to you too.” Catra nodded at the guard, who gave her and Adora some space. “What can’t I do this time?”

“Hordak is trying to open a portal. He wants to bring the rest of the Horde army through to Etheria. We can’t let that happen!”

Catra was surprised at the information Adora knew, but she refused to falter in front of the prisoner. “The _rest_ of the Horde army?”

“Hordak is part of a gigantic evil army from another world—”

Catra crouched down to Adora’s eye level and burst into laughter. She was unable to contain herself with how serious Adora looked while talking nonsense. Catra would never admit it to Adora’s face, but she sometimes missed Adora’s wild imagination. “Never a dull moment with you. Why would I be against more Horde? That means we win and you lose.”

“We’ll _all_ lose if Hordak uses his portal machine. Light Hope and Mara both said that opening a portal will endanger everyone.”

Catra stood up and began walking away, even though Adora was talking. So far, Adora hadn’t offered anything of importance to Catra, but her ex-best friend could still be of some use. “You’ll listen to anything weird old holograms tell you, won’t you? You should really try to get over that. Besides, how do you know about what Hordak’s doing?”

“Shadow Weaver told me.”

As soon as the name fell from Adora’s lips, Catra’s eyes widened in disbelief. She could feel her anger, hot and writhing, desperate to explode from under her skin. _Shadow Weaver_? The very same person who tricked Catra into letting her escape? The _reason_ Catra was in the Crimson Waste in the first place?

“We know all about Hordak’s plan,” Adora continued.

“Shadow Weaver told you? How exactly did Shadow Weaver tell you this?”

“You didn’t know?”

Catra walked back to Adora and grabbed her by the collar, losing control of her emotions. “How?”

“Catra… Shadow Weaver is in Bright Moon.”

Catra released her grip on Adora, falling into a trance. Everything she ever felt since Adora left—jealousy, rage, heartache—hit Catra like a train all at once. _Shadow Weaver told Catra that she was more like her than Adora ever was. She had bought every single word Shadow Weaver said, hook, line, and sinker. And it was all to get back to Adora?_ The wheels in Catra’s mind were turning so fast, she was afraid her head would explode. “Shadow Weaver left me… for you. All of this happened because of _you_.”

Catra blocked out Adora’s cries as she marched back to the party. There were no words to describe the pounding in her heart and the screaming in her head. Shadow Weaver abandoned Catra, leaving her to fend for herself. All for _Adora_. Once again, Adora had won, and she had lost. No matter how hard Catra tried, nobody would choose her over the precious, perfect _princess_ Adora. She was She-Ra, after all. Catra was just… Catra. She had to work several times as hard to get a fraction of what Adora could without even trying. And to think Catra was enjoying their banter. Well, she wasn’t going to let it slide anymore. Catra knew that no matter what she chose going forward, she would never lose ever again. This time, Adora would know what it was like to lose everything you had.

“Hey, Catra!”

Catra looked up, completely broken from her trance. Scorpia looked down with an earnest expression, but all Catra wanted was to wipe it off her face. No, not wipe it off her face— _crush it_.

“Whoa there, gotta be careful, boss.”

Catra didn’t respond, attempting to collect herself instead. She remembered what Scorpia had suggested earlier in the evening, but that seemed like a lifetime ago. Staying in the Crimson Waste would never make her happy. Catra wasn’t sure there was anything that could make her happy, ever again. And truthfully speaking, the light from her life burned out when Adora left.

“Catra? You okay?”

Despite more tears brimming at the corners of her eyes, Catra did not falter at her next words. She stood firm, still, unmoving. Not even a hurricane could knock her down at that moment, but it wasn’t like she could fall apart. You can’t break something that’s already been broken.

“We are going back. We are going to open a portal. And we are going to _crush. Them. All_.” 


	6. S03E04 Moment of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final moments before Catra activates the portal.

“Oh, you can’t trust anyone, _especially_ a princess. They’ll just use you to get what they want.”

Catra’s words pierced Adora’s ears, the same way Catra’s look pierced her soul. Adora had never seen Catra look at her with so much contempt in her eyes. It completely broke Adora’s heart, even though she knew she was beating a dead horse. No matter how many times Adora told Catra she never meant to make her feel second-best, or to make her feel used, Catra didn’t believe her.

Adora closed her eyes and wished more than anything for her former best friend to be on her side. At the very least, Adora hoped that a part of Catra still cared. Adora knew it was hopeless, that Catra was indeed a terrible person. She’s made so many bad choices over the last year, that Adora thought Catra was lost forever.

And yet, a part of Adora would always secretly hope that Catra would realize how wrong she’s been, purely for selfish reasons. Adora dreamed that one day, Catra would see that she was on the side of evil. That she could be better than she was. Even though Catra was too far gone, Adora would be first in line to support Catra if she ever wanted to change. After everything, no one believed in Catra’s abilities more than Adora did, regardless of whether Catra used those abilities for good or for evil.

“Open the portal, and let’s end this.”

Adora opened her eyes and saw Hordak reaching for the lever. She screamed behind her mouth restraint, but it was useless.

Suddenly, Bow, Glimmer, and Shadow Weaver burst into the room. Adora shook her head until the cloth fell off. “Bow!”

“Forget about them, pull the switch!”

Adora’s friends began fighting against Hordak, who seemingly forgot about the portal for the time being. Eventually, the lab had fallen into chaos, and everyone was blocked from the portal’s switch. Everyone, except for Adora and Catra, that is. Adora couldn’t help but think there was some poetic element to all of this. Catra and Adora grew up together; they were always two peas in a pod. Everything used to be about the two of them together. Now, their world was crumbling, and like always, it was down to her and Catra. Definitely poetic.

Adora noticed Catra’s eyes were fixed on the portal’s switch. Catra approached the destructive weapon, and Adora began to panic.

“Catra, please, _don’t_!”

Catra turned back and looked at Adora. Adora could feel the intense burn of hatred simmering in Catra’s eyes, but for a moment, Catra remained still. Adora’s heart lifted. Maybe her friend wasn’t completely lost, after all.

But then, Catra grinned. She pulled the lever, and Adora couldn’t help but scream in defeat. Everyone in Hordak’s lab stared as the glowing portal grew bigger and bigger.

And then, everything went black.


	7. S03E05 Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora confronts Catra in the whispering woods.

“Don’t you get it?! I am _never_ going to go with you.” 

Adora stared in shock as Catra laughed maniacally. “You always have to go and ruin it. Don’t you?”

Catra leaped at her, so Adora immediately began to fight back. Once she was able to push Catra far enough away from her, Adora exclaimed in desperation. “Catra, look what’s happening! You’re going to destroy everything!”

“I don’t care! I won’t let you win. I’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.”

Suddenly, the ground they stood on began crumbling beneath their feet, splitting into pieces. The girls were losing their balance. Catra grabbed Adora’s collar. “Catra, _no_!”

Catra pushed Adora away and began to fall. “Catra!” Adora screamed, reaching out for her, but it was no use. Throwing Adora one last glare, Catra let go of the cliff and fell to what Adora presumed was her doom.

Despite everything, tears welled in Adora’s eyes. She always wanted to do what was right and save the world, but her friends came first. And even though Catra was anything but a friend, Adora still tried to save her, too. How could she be She-Ra if she couldn’t also help the person who knew every nook and cranny about her?

Adora took off into the woods, not allowing herself to stop running until she made it to safe ground. When she did, she collapsed, unable to control her sobbing. Adora couldn’t stop thinking about how she searched Catra’s eyes, but all she saw were black voids.

Adora stupidly kept going in circles around Catra, and there was no one she could blame but herself. Assuming that she could somehow restore reality, Adora knew that she would never be on the same side as Catra, ever again. She saw that when Catra’s eyes burned with utter loathing.

There was no point in denying the truth. After all, Adora knew that you couldn’t save someone who wanted to be saved. Catra was far beyond that. If Catra ever wanted to come back, it would be something she’d have to do on her own. It was time for Adora to move on. It would take time, but she would, Adora owed it to herself, because it was hopeless.

The girl she loved was truly gone forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback always appreciated!!! thank you to ell for reviewing the drabbles before posting, and thank you for reading! see you for season four.


	8. S04E03 Flutterina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra reflects on her dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, my drabbles for season four! As always, feedback is welcomed and much appreciated; and shoutout to ell for reviewing my drabbles before posting <3

_What did you do to me?_

_Why did you do it?_

Catra woke up from her nightmare, startled and drenched in sweat. She didn’t even have time to process her dream before she heard a noise. She turned her head and found Emily, Entrapta’s robot, hovering over her.

Catra leaped out of bed, completely freaked out. It was almost like Emily _knew_ what she dreamt about. “Stay away from me!” Catra screamed, scratching the robot with her claws.

Catra watched Emily hobble away. When she was finally alone, she sighed in relief and slumped back in her bed. Catra knew she would have to get up eventually, especially since she had to introduce Hordak to Double Trouble. She needed to initiate the next part of her plan, but Catra needed a few extra minutes to herself to process her dream.

Catra couldn’t unsee Entrapta and Adora’s angry faces, staring her down. Catra remembered how vulnerable and terrified she felt, and those emotions lingered once she woke up. No matter how much time passes, Catra still has trouble pushing her feelings away. They somehow come barreling back all because of a stupid dream. A dream that painfully reminded her of her reality.

First, there was Adora, and that was definitely her fault. She didn’t have to go. She could have stayed by Catra’s side, and they could have ruled Etheria together, the way that they had always planned.

It was harder to blame Entrapta, but Catra soothed herself by saying that Entrapta only made bigger messes that Catra _always_ had to clean up. They didn’t _need_ Entrapta. Setting off the portal was the best thing Catra ever did, even if it didn’t work in their favor. Horde Prime would arrive any day now, and Catra was now a leader of the Horde.

Catra had become a master manipulator, skilled at deceiving everyone, including herself. She was so good at it that even Catra believed that she was more vengeful than she was hurt or lonely. But she couldn’t give up now, not when things were going in her favor. So far, anyway.

God, Catra was furious. She was mad at Entrapta and even angrier at Adora. It was easier for Catra to be upset; it always has been. And truthfully, at least on the surface, Catra _didn’t_ feel guilty. She remembered the fight she had with Adora in the alternate reality, and what she had said to her.

_Don’t you get it?! I am never going to go with you._

_You always have to go and ruin it. Don’t you?_

_I won’t let you win. I’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen._

It was all true, every last word. If Catra and Adora had to have the same argument all over again, she would just repeat everything she said. Catra would burn everything down to ensure that she got what she wanted, and Adora got _nothing_. That’s what Adora deserved after leaving Catra with nothing. Let Adora see the losing side for a change. It wasn’t fair that Adora was the one who betrayed Catra, and Catra was the one who stayed faithfully with the Horde. Catra was loyal, yet she was the one who always got stabbed in the back.

Why did her friends keep betraying her? They either left her or stood in her way. They screwed things up to the point of no return. Catra would have lost if she hadn’t sent Entrapta to Beast Island. Sure, everyone came back from the alternate reality, but The Rebellion was in shambles. Catra and Hordak were planning a successful takeover. The prissy princesses didn’t know what was coming, not with the tricks the Horde had up their sleeves.

_Catra, look what’s happening! You’re going to destroy everything!_

It infuriated Catra that Adora thought that was all she was good for. Destruction. If Adora wanted to know why Catra opened the portal, Catra wouldn’t hesitate. Catra _needed_ everything to go well. If Hordak could successfully bring in the rest of his armies, Catra would finally taste victory. Even if she knew deep down, the only person she was fighting was herself.

Catra’s dream reminded her of one crucial thing. She remembered what it felt like to lose her balance and slip through the blazing red portal. She remembered _why_ it happened—it was because of her so-called friends. Trusting people and putting her faith in them—that’s what always brought Catra down. Her dream was a harsh but necessary wakeup call. She couldn’t afford to have any friends, no matter how much they claimed to be loyal to her and the Horde.

So, that evening, when Scorpia came to check on her like she usually did, Catra was sure to put Scorpia in her place. After all, Catra already had everything she needed. Her plan was in motion, and she was finally going to win.

She didn’t need anybody to lean on. She had herself, and that was always enough.


	9. S04E04 Pulse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Double Trouble come up with a plan.

“And don’t worry, darling, I’ll keep a better eye on Glimmer. Who knew she was so powerful?”

Catra scoffed at Double Trouble’s observation. “Whatever. If she hadn’t used Adora as bait—”

“Oh, yes! How _devious_. I’d assumed she was all glitter, no grit.”

“Yeah. That… was unexpected. And then she showed up alone. Huh.” The wheels in Catra’s mind began turning faster and faster. “Looks like that friendship might have a few cracks, huh? Would be a _shame_ if someone were there to take advantage of them…”

Double Trouble grinned sinisterly at Catra, and they quickly left after that. Catra watched them go, the excitement of their new strategy thrumming in her veins. She knew that Adora’s friendship with Glimmer wasn’t as perfect as the girls made it out to be. Of course, you could say that Catra was just green with envy. But even when Adora was still with the Horde, she and Catra still had their fair share of problems. Nothing was ever peachy perfect, as it always seemed to be with Adora and Glimmer.

Smiling to herself, Catra walked back inside. New energies took over her body. _Confidence. Sureness. Certainty._ Now, Glimmer would finally learn the price of being friends with Adora. Their friendship would fall apart, proving that Catra’s failed relationship with Adora was _not_ her fault. Adora and Glimmer would _finally_ know what it’s like to lose trust in the one person you thought you could always count on. And little did they know that it was Flutterina, the Horde’s spy, snipping the thread that held Adora and Glimmer together.

Catra couldn’t wait to watch them fall apart.


	10. S04E06 Princess Scorpia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra reflects on her friendship with Scorpia, the plan to take down The Rebellion, and past decisions.

_I’m so close. If I can pull this off, everything,_ everything _, will have been worth it._

As Catra stormed away from Scorpia, her own words played in her mind on repeat. Usually, she wouldn’t say something that revealing to anyone, but Catra was in a bigger frenzy than usual. She couldn’t help but think out loud.

It wasn’t like Scorpia would say anything about it. Once Catra made it clear that they were _not_ friends, Scorpia didn’t question her as much. It was a massive relief to Catra, who couldn’t focus on anything but taking down The Rebellion once and for all.

But Catra couldn’t help but ponder on what “everything” meant. Now that she was alone, in a safe spot where people were unlikely to reach her, she could think about it for a few minutes.

“Everything” started with the decisions Catra made since Adora left, starting with choosing to stay with the Horde in the first place. But soon, “everything” spiraled out of control. Catra stopped making excuses for her actions. After all, what was the point? Every time she told herself that this would be the last time she did something awful, another opportunity would come around. Next thing Catra knew, she was electrocuting Entrapta and shipping her off to Beast Island.

Not that Catra regretted that choice. _She didn’t_. She couldn’t, because regretting her actions meant acknowledging that they were mistakes. However, if Catra managed to succeed, then nothing would matter. Enabling Shadow Weaver’s torture of Glimmer, destroying civilian villages, abusing Scorpia, Entrapta, even _Hordak_ , for heaven’s sake. It would have all been worth it.

Sure, Catra was emotionally reckless—she set off an entire alternate reality, and their world almost collapsed so that she could win. But no one else understood—winning was everything to Catra. It was all she had left. Everyone had left her in one form another.

Catra stopped reasoning with herself after everyone returned from the portal. She did whatever she felt was necessary to get what she wanted. No more justification, no more excuses. Catra was done _being_ a pathetic excuse for a person. So, she secretly infiltrated The Rebellion, thanks to Double Trouble. She treated everyone worse than dirt, an incredible feat for her considering she already wasn’t treating her peers very well. Catra would cause ample destruction, and everything would blow up in The Rebellion’s face—in Adora’s face.

As usual, it all came back to Adora. Every choice Catra made since Adora left the Horde was to prove to her former best friend that she made the wrong decision when she chose the _princesses_ over their relationship. It was the ultimate payback. Once the Horde finally succeeded in taking over Etheria, Adora would see that her fatal mistake was leaving and underestimating Catra.

 _Everything would be worth it_ , Catra reassured herself. All the pain, destruction, manipulation—everything Catra had caused would be worth it. It had to be because if it wasn’t, Catra lost everything she ever loved for _nothing_. 

* * *

“You’re a bad friend.”

Catra stared in shock as Scorpia walked away. For the first time ever, Scorpia didn’t even hesitate to look back. She kept walking, becoming smaller and smaller until she turned the corner and disappeared completely. Catra didn’t know what to expect from Scorpia after yelling at her, but it certainly wasn’t _that_.

It was a few hours after Catra sent Scorpia to find Entrapta’s recordings, and while Scorpia did find them, she “accidentally” broke them. Now, Catra didn’t have a choice but to take whatever contraption Scorpia gave her and bring it to Hordak. But Catra swore to herself that no matter what his reaction would be, this wouldn’t get in the way of the plan’s execution. The Horde would conquer Etheria, the Rebellion would fall, and when Horde Prime finally showed up, Catra would be praised and placed in high rank among the Horde’s soldiers. Maybe she’ll even earn a position higher than Hordak.

So, maybe Scorpia’s words made Catra’s heart twinge just a little bit, but it was probably out of surprise, more than anything. Besides, Catra wasn’t heartbroken. She didn’t care if Scorpia thought she was a lousy friend. Scorpia would get over Catra’s outburst like she always did, and then everything would go back to normal. And how could Catra be a bad friend if she didn’t have any, to begin with?

Catra picked up the recording she threw a few minutes before. She stared at it for a few moments, collecting herself before going to meet with Hordak. Screw Scorpia. Catra never needed anyone, and certainly not some clumsy, happy-go-lucky scorpion who just sat around singing cheesy campfire songs. Catra was always better off alone; she knew that by now. Besides, Scorpia was still a _princess_. She would always be one, even if her parents swore loyalty to the Horde. Of _course,_ Scorpia was useless; it was in her blood. So, Catra smoothed out her hair and went to see Hordak in his lab.

When Catra walked in, Hordak immediately perked up. “The recordings!” He desperately cried.

Catra had a split second to make a decision, and she did. She hid the tech behind her back. “Entrapta must have taken them with her before leaving.” She turned to look at Hordak. “There’s nothing.”

Hordak screamed in frustration, throwing pieces of debris in the air. “I gave you an order,” he grunted.

“Get. Over. It. You don’t _need_ Entrapta, you never _did_. You don’t _need_ a princess in your life telling you what to do. Look at what you’ve done without her! You built an army. An _empire_. You and me… we don’t need anyone. Forget them all! No one matters; _nothing_ matters but this mission! You want to prove yourself? Prove your worth? Then _do_ it. You and I are going to conquer Etheria and then, and then, they’ll all see!” Catra finished her rant, breathing heavily, rage bubbling under her skin.

“Oh, of course! Yes. We will prevail. Give me another day, and I will be ready.”

“Does that mean… I can give the command?” Catra asked, cautiously.

“It is time.”

Catra grinned at Hordak, satisfied with their conversation. They were on the brink of victory. By this time next week, Catra would be sitting on Bright Moon’s throne, ruling Etheria. Maybe even Horde Prime will have landed on their planet by then. And she’ll have done it all, without Entrapta, without Scorpia, and definitely without Adora.

So, just like every heartache before, Scorpia faded to background music in her mind.


	11. S04E08 Boys Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra didn't know what she had until it was gone.

Catra needed a break from winning.

That’s something she never thought she’d say, but everything changed once the tide started turning toward the Horde. Catra knew there was only one person who she wanted to talk to at that moment.

“Force Captain Scorpia, come in. Aw man, even when he’s winning, Hordak is annoying. Now, he suddenly _loves_ fighting, and I’m getting stuck with whatever he _deems necessary_. Ugh. Never thought I’d miss shut-in Hordak. Meet me at the sea gate; I wanna take a break anyway.”

Catra turned off her radio and began making her way towards the sea gate. Now that Etheria _finally_ belonged to the Horde, maybe she’d use the sea gate as her comfort zone, a place where she could feel safe.

Once Catra reached the gate, she climbed its walls until she was reasonably close to the top and sat down. She waited a bit, but after several minutes of radio silence, Catra reached out to Scorpia again. “Hey, Scorpia, where are you? It’s not like you to be late.”

Again, a few beats of silence passed. Catra curled herself into a sitting fetal position. Maybe, for once in her life, she should try being honest. “Listen, I’ll kill you if you tell anyone this, but… I thought winning would be… different. Or at least, more… I don’t know, fun?”

Catra heard nothing but static coming through her communication piece. She was starting to get annoyed. “Come on; you’re not still mad about before, are you? Stop being so sensitive, get over it, and talk to me, Scorpia! Scorpia? Scorpia?!”

Okay, now, Catra was officially worried. It was so unlike Scorpia to ignore her, especially considering that Catra was her _commander_. Didn’t Scorpia have any respect?! Catra didn’t _have_ to tell her anything she just said, but she did, anyway.

Catra leaped from the top of the sea gate and hurried back to Horde headquarters, desperately praying that Scorpia had just turned off her means of communication and was alone in her room.

Catra was out of breath by the time she made it back to Scorpia’s room in the Fright Zone. “Scorpia!” She exclaimed but was shocked to see a painstakingly neat place. Almost like… nobody was there. “Scorpia?” Catra asked, more hesitantly, afraid of what she would find.

Suddenly, she heard her own voice talking back to her. Catra looked down to find Scorpia’s ripped armor with her radio signal going off. Catra also noticed a folded piece of paper that sat on top of the machinery. She picked up the paper and unfolded it, finding a letter from Scorpia.

As Catra read, she gasped, not daring to believe Scorpia _left_. It never occurred to Catra that Scorpia would ever do something like that, _especially_ behind her back. How dare she?! Especially after Scorpia _knew_ how much Adora’s desertion hurt Catra. It wasn’t like Scorpia to pull something like this.

Just then, it occurred to Catra that when she said that winning wasn’t what she thought it would be, she was talking to the empty air. She admitted a piece of information she refused to acknowledge—ruling Etheria meant nothing to her if she had nobody to share it with. Catra always imagined it would be Adora, and she knew that Scorpia would never be Adora, but Catra wouldn’t be _alone_ , at least.

And that’s when it hit Catra—she always claimed she didn’t want friends, didn’t need friends, and that she was just better off without anyone. But now that Catra finally won, all she wanted was a friend. Adora was long gone, but Scorpia was always there for her, no matter how mean Catra could be.

Well, even Scorpia had her limits.

Now everyone was gone. Scorpia _left_ , just like Adora did, just like anyone Catra ever cared about did. And as usual, Catra was alone, vulnerable, and in the hands of the Horde. Everything she held clutter to the floor as she stared at the ground, feeling utterly numb inside.


	12. S04E10 Fractures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra reaches her breaking point.

Shift screen. Shift screen.

That was all Catra has been doing for the last few days, desperately searching for Scorpia through the Horde’s camera system, hoping to spot her so Catra could bring her back. But so far, it proved to be useless.

Suddenly, she heard a laugh in the distance. Catra didn’t think and knocked down a layer of the defense walls she built around her heart. “Scorpia? I knew you’d come.”

Once she realized that she was just talking to open space, Catra groaned in frustration. She approached the window and looked down to find scattered Horde soldiers talking amongst themselves. In another lifetime, she probably would have been down there with Adora. Possibly with Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio, too. But Catra wasn’t because she was their commander, so all of these soldiers were probably just standing around and laughing at her soul chipping away, turning into debris.

Just then, the Horde trio re-entered the outpost. Catra immediately went to confront them. She hissed her way past random soldiers, determined to make her presence known.

“Okay, no. There’s no way we’re working a fourth—”

But Catra wasn’t interested. She grabbed Lonnie’s arm and yanked her away from the group, dragging her to the communications room.

Catra finally released her grip on Lonnie, throwing her against a panel. “What are they saying?!”

“What? Who?”

“ _Don’t_ pretend like you don’t know. Are they laughing at me?!”

Lonnie gave Catra a curious look, and Catra was sure Lonnie thought that she had officially lost her mind. Well, maybe she had. “Mostly, people are just tired. I think if you let them sleep, everything will be fine.”

Catra had begun walking away from Lonnie but stopped once Lonnie suggested that things could turn around and be okay. “ _Everything isn’t fine_! Scorpia would be here if everything was fine!”

As soon as she said that, Catra realized she had just put herself in a vulnerable position. She immediately turned back to face Lonnie and growled at her. Lonnie gasped in fear, which made Catra realize how utterly _ridiculous_ this all was. Confessing how much she missed Scorpia to _Lonnie_ of all people? Was _Lonnie_ all Catra had left? Did everything come down to _this_? Catra couldn’t help but burst into laughter. Everything about this situation was just so bizarre, and she was so worn down and so broken that she couldn’t react in any other way. “Just leave. Like everybody else.”

Lonnie stared at Catra, bewildered by her behavior. Catra couldn’t take being around anyone else, for the time being, so she screamed. “GO!”

Once Lonnie was gone, she picked up a communication tablet and tried to reach Double Trouble. However, Catra was in an extremely volatile state, so before Double Trouble could even answer the signal, Catra accidentally crushed the communicator. She threw the tablet to the ground, watching it shatter to pieces.

Double Trouble was Catra’s absolute last resort. With them not answering, Catra was truly alone now. 

* * *

Later that evening, Catra’s erratic condition hadn’t changed. She hadn’t slept in days. Scorpia was nowhere to be found. The Horde kept gaining ground in Etheria. Life continued to move, but Catra was unable to.

Eventually, it was time to check in with Hordak. Once she got on the line with him, he immediately began updating her on the newly gained territory. “I’ve taken the last of the coastal towns. What is the status in the Woods?”

Without missing a beat, Catra replied. “Our raiding parties have crushed the villages near our current outpost. Tomorrow, we move farther inland. Everything is under control.” God, she sounded so rehearsed, it was as if she had practiced for hours for some petty recital. But Catra was already used to it. Pretending wasn’t hard anymore; it was second nature for her. Truthfully, Catra died the day Adora left, and whoever was left was simply a shadow of the person she used to be.

“Excellent. Etheria will be ours yet.”

Hordak hung up, and Catra let her headpiece clatter to the ground. Any moment now, the dam inside her would break. She was alone in her surroundings. Nobody was communicating with her. If Catra needed a good cry, just to see if it would make her feel even a little better, now was the time.

So that’s what she did. Catra slid to her knees and burst into tears, opening the emotional floodgates inside of her. There was so much she was crying for by that point; it was practically a week’s worth laundry list. Adora. Scorpia. Entrapta. Adora. Shadow Weaver. Sparkles, Glimmer, whatever her name was. And Adora, Adora, _Adora_.

Catra had finally won; she had gotten everything she wanted. And yet, she had never felt emptier than she did at that moment. How could she feel anything inside when she was still alone, despite being at the top? Here Catra was, having reached the peak of the mountain she’s been climbing for the last couple of years, but it was nothing like she imagined it would be. Truthfully, a part of her knew that it could never measure up to what she wanted—ruling Etheria with Adora. But if she were given a chance to love Adora, and to be loved in return, could she give it all up?

Catra knew the answer to that question. And so, she continued to sob, finally letting her most vulnerable emotions slip through the cracks of her hollow soul.


	13. S04E12 Destiny Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra sees Scorpia's locker for the first time since Scorpia left.

Catra splashed water on her face and took a few moments to collect herself. Today was a brand new day. Scorpia was gone, and Double Trouble wasn’t around, but everything was _fine_. Okay, maybe she had a hysterical breakdown the other day, but so far, pretending like it never happened was working for her. Today was going to be a good day; she’d make sure of that.

Catra looked in the mirror and smoothed down her hair. She turned and began walking away from the sink, but stopped when she saw Scorpia’s abandoned locker.

Catra gasped. She forgot that almost everywhere she went, there were traces of Scorpia. Of course, Catra had stopped looking for Scorpia, but seeing her locker entirely intact, with doodles of the Super Pal Trio, just really hurt. Catra bowed her head, darkness overwhelming her once again.

Just then, Catra heard laughter, and the Horde Trio walked in the locker room. “Sorry, we didn’t know you were in here. We’ll just come back later.”

“Wait!” Catra exclaimed. Now that she had their attention, she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t _have_ anything to say to people she’s known her whole life but seemed like strangers to her. So instead, she asked, “What’s the report from the field?”

“We just got back from conquering another rebel town. The third one this week! So, you’re welcome.”

“Aw, you should have seen us! I was all…” Kyle began animatedly explaining what happened, so Catra tuned out his voice. She wasn’t interested. But then, Kyle kicked Scorpia’s locker, ripping the corner from one of Scorpia’s doodles.

“Watch it!”

Kyle ran in fear behind Lonnie and Rogelio. Lonnie spoke up. “Calm down, Catra! It’s not like Scorpia needs it anymore.”

“You… don’t get to talk to me like that. I’m your _commander_! Got it?”

“What is wrong with you? We’re winning! Even you should be happy.”

How _dare_ Lonnie speak to her like that! Catra may have been on the brink of insanity, but nobody had the right to _imply_ that she wasn’t okay. “ _Happy_?” Catra slammed Lonnie into the locker, seething with hot rage. “I’ll be _happy_ when The Rebellion and She-Ra are gone for good. But that’s never going to happen with the three of you goofing off all the time. You are _pathetic_!”

In a way, Catra didn’t lie. She didn’t want Adora to die, but Adora discovering her She-Ra persona only jeopardized their friendship, effectively putting an end to it. Without She-Ra, Adora and Catra might still be best friends, taking on the world together. Like it was always meant to be.

Lonnie pushed Catra away, refusing to take any more of her bullshit. Catra only responded with the threat of her claws. She was ready to strike, but suddenly, Kyle jumped in the way.

“Stay away from her! We used to be your friends. Why are you treating us like this?”

Catra didn’t know what to say to that. Sure, they were friends once, a long time ago, but things have changed now. The last time they were friends, Adora was there. The last time they were friends, Catra undoubtedly _loved_ Adora. But Catra didn’t have any friends for a long time. Scorpia was there, but Catra didn’t consider her a friend until it was too late.

For a moment, Catra let her guard down, as the only thing she could think of was the fact that the last time she was friends with Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio was when Adora was there, too. When Catra and Adora were on the same side. But those days were long gone, and despite what she had realized when she sobbed her guts out the other day, Catra was still desperate to pretend like it never happened.

Catra’s face hardened. “Get out!” She panted heavily, refusing to move from her spot until the Horde Trio were safely gone. Then, she turned back to Scorpia’s old locker, ripping the drawings away and leaning her head against it. After acknowledging everything she had in the last few days, and after almost blowing her cover in front of Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio, she was too exhausted to do anything else.


	14. S04E13 Destiny Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double Trouble exposes Catra for who she really is.

“You know, it took me a while, but I finally figured out your character.”

Catra was still reeling from Double Trouble pretending to be Adora. She couldn’t register what they were saying, so she remained frozen, allowing Double Trouble to continue talking.

“You try so hard to play the big, _bad_ villain. But your heart’s never been in it, has it?”

Catra couldn’t believe what they were saying. For Double Trouble to decode Catra was one thing, but to do it while pretending to be her? Catra was pretty sure her brain had just stopped working altogether. “What…? What are you? Stop! Stop it!”

Catra tried to scratch at Double Trouble, but it was no use. Both of them were in the same body. Double Trouble ducked out of the way and grabbed Catra’s arm, forcing her to look at them. “People have hurt you, haven’t they? They didn’t believe in you. They didn’t trust you. Didn’t need you. Left you.”

Double Trouble shapeshifted into Adora and used Catra’s hand to cradle their face. Catra was so stunned by everything that was happening. It was all too much for her, and she felt so helpless in their grip.

Double Trouble pushed Catra to the ground. “But did you ever stop to think, maybe they’re _not_ the problem? It’s you. You drive them away, wildcat.” 

Double Trouble shifted into Scorpia, and Catra had never felt so small in her life. She looked up at them, wishing more than anything that she was looking at Scorpia, but Catra knew it wasn’t her. “Why are you doing this?”

“It’s for your own good, darling. We both know this was never what you _really_ wanted. But, it was also a good distraction. Your army was ambushed on their way to _defenseless_ Bright Moon. Your face right now is almost better than applause. _Almost_.”

Each new reveal hit Catra more personally than the last one did. She never expected _Double Trouble_ of all people to leave her for The Rebellion. “You… _betrayed_ me.”

“It’s not personal, darling, you knew how this worked. The best way to survive is always choose the winning side. The Rebels have some kind of ancient superweapon. Any minute now they’re going to use it, and when they do… everything you’ve worked for will be destroyed.”

Catra stared in disbelief. Double Trouble just _didn’t stop talking_. They kept hitting Catra, where it hurt the most. “I’d really better be going before that happens! And… _scene_.”

Double Trouble finally left Catra among the wreckage of the Fright Zone. She stared at their receding figure, completely shattered. _Everything was for nothing_. The only thing that happened was Double Trouble betrayed her for the _princesses_ , and they exposed the deepest, darkest parts of herself that she had barely acknowledged. Even thinking of Double Trouble’s words managed to crush her heart even more. 

The worst part was, _it was all true_. That’s why Catra felt the way she did. Everything led up to this moment—the inevitability that she was _always_ the problem. No wonder they all left. Double Trouble, Scorpia, Shadow Weaver. Even Adora left, and how could she not? 

_We both know this was never what you_ really _wanted_. Double Trouble’s words echoed in Catra’s mind as she fully accepted them. Catra knew what she really wanted, but it was always impossible. How could anybody even _love_ Catra? Even if Adora hadn’t left, it was ridiculous of Catra to even think for a split second that her former best friend would ever love her back. And now, Catra was far beyond redemption. She was too broken to be fixed. Her plan with Hordak completely backfired, so there was nothing left for her now.

She lost. And as always, she was alone.

Catra sat there for ages, waiting for something to happen. Whether this ancient superweapon would destroy her, or maybe Adora would do it herself, Catra didn’t know. She just knew it was inevitable.

Suddenly, Glimmer teleported into the destroyed Fright Zone. Catra had been quietly crying for the last several minutes, but once Glimmer arrived, the princess immediately heard her. Glimmer turned to Catra and pointed a magical weapon. “Guess you wanted all my attention for yourself. Your troops are _gone_. You’re all _alone_ , you’ve _lost_.”

Please, tell Catra something that she didn’t know for once. “What are you waiting for? Do it.”

Glimmer was wholly taken aback by Catra’s reaction. It was so unlike her to just give up and not fight back, but Glimmer didn’t know that Catra had already fought back as hard as possible. You could only fight for so long before you’re bruised and beaten down to the point of paralyzation. And now, Catra sat there, unable to move. 

Catra heard Double Trouble’s words once more: _We both know this was never what you_ really _wanted_. 

“Looks like we’re both alone, Sparkles.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! be prepared for a lot of season five drabbles, LOL. but it's a good thing because season five is the best season. feedback is always appreciated, and thanks to ell for reviewing this before posting <3


	15. S05E01 Horde Prime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horde Prime realizes something about Catra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with season five! Unlike my drabbles for the previous seasons, these will not be uploaded all at once. But there shouldn't be a lot of time in between drabble uploads, either!

“Neat trick, with all the footage of her friends in danger. These princesses are so predictable with their feelings.”

“As were you.”

Catra stared as Horde Prime towered over her. Her heart pounded. “What?”

“Elevated heart rate. Dilated pupils. Adora _means_ something to you.”

 _Okay, keep it cool, Catra. You may have scratched your nails on the dinner table, but Prime doesn’t know anything. He can’t._ “No, she doesn’t. She chose her side; I chose mine. She means nothing to me.”

But Prime didn’t believe her. “You Etherians are all alike. Such strong connections to one another. It’s what makes you weak.”

Prime removed his finger from her chin, and Catra felt like she was going to throw up, but she refused to let her feelings show. At least, more than she already had. “What are you going to do with me?”

“Now that I know about She-Ra and the weapon, what purpose do I have for you? Your little ploy of passing out information like a bargaining chip was never going to last long out here. I see all. I _know_ all.”

Catra had been on Horde Prime’s ship for weeks, and she can’t believe someone had already outsmarted her. She was done for.

She jumped back, startled when Prime continued talking. “But fear not. I have great plans for you. Every part of the machine is of value. Even you, little sister.”

Catra’s eyes widened. For the first time in a while, she didn’t have the upper hand, which terrified her. If she wasn’t in control of the situation, then how would she even survive? Catra always figured out a way, but with Prime knowing her weakness, she wasn’t sure anymore.

Horde Prime was far more calculated than she ever dreamed he could be. Catra was expecting him to be smarter than Hordak, but she barely had a real conversation with Prime, and he had already deduced what was in her heart. Then again, this man ripped planets to shreds without even thinking twice. Discovering someone’s weakness was probably a midmorning snack for him.

God, how could she fall for a pathetic trick like that? Catra meant it when she said that _princesses_ were expected to fall for these emotional traps, not _her_. How could she be so stupid as to show even a glimpse of what she was feeling inside?

 _It’s all because of my stupid feelings_ , Catra thought bitterly. Just because she accepted that her feelings for Adora never really went away, it didn’t mean that she was okay with them. Catra hadn’t worked through those emotions yet. They all came rushing back to her so fast, and then Horde Prime captured her, so there wasn’t even _time_ to process her feelings. And honestly, even if Catra did have the time, why would she? She was far beyond redemption. Catra was hopeless. A lost cause. Why would Adora _want_ to be friends with her after everything she had done, let alone anything more? Catra had long ago passed the point of no return. Adora was the living definition of a saint, and Catra was, well… _Catra_ (and that was being generous). Catra had accepted reality, but it didn’t mean she could easily shut off her emotions. Not anymore. A dam broke inside of her, and she couldn’t build a new one.

Catra knew her own worth, and it wasn’t a lot. But apparently, she was still useful to Horde Prime. She only wished she could matter to the person that mattered more than anything to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out [on tumblr](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)!


	16. S05E03 Corridors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra makes life-altering choices.

_Why’d you do it?_

Catra could still hear Adora’s voice echo in her ears. She watched as a planet burned outside Horde Prime's ship.

She leaped down from the window and began walking, trying to stop her tears from falling. Catra wasn’t sure what to think anymore. She had always thought the best way to survive was not to trust anyone and look out for yourself. That’s what the memory playing on repeat in her head reminded her. But the longer Catra stood around like a useless duck, the more time she had to think. And boy, there was _a lot_ to think about.

Mostly, Catra couldn’t stop thinking about Adora, not that it was surprising or anything. Thinking of Adora allowed Catra to wander through time to the days where they were training under the Horde. Those memories kept inching their way back into Catra’s mind. She couldn’t help but think about how Adora always seemed to look out for Catra, but when it came down to it, Adora chose the other side. Catra used to believe that Adora wasn’t loyal, but the more she thought about it now, the more she realized Adora wasn’t a bad friend—Adora had just recognized Catra’s worthlessness. Why should Adora want to defend Catra if there was a long list of other people who were worthier than she was?

She kept thinking about that particular memory. Maybe it was because she still heard Adora asking her why she chose to hit Lonnie. Nowadays, Catra kept asking herself about every choice she ever made. Sure, she wanted to get back at Adora, but in the end, that didn’t even happen. So was it worth it?

Truthfully, Catra knew she would never be enough for Adora. Still, maybe she should try making different choices for once, and not necessarily so Adora would see her as a better person (because that would never happen). But maybe Catra could look at herself in a mirror and not hate the person she saw so much.

Although there were not many choices to make with Prime breathing down her neck, she could still try.

* * *

“So, what would you be doing if you were back on Etheria right now and not, you know, a prisoner on an alien ship?” Catra asked Glimmer. She finally decided to stop being such a baby and seek company from someone, even if that person happened to be _Sparkles_.

“I guess maybe… maybe I’d go teleporting all around Etheria, visiting the other princesses in their kingdoms. If it were a really perfect day, Bow, Adora, and I would be having a sleepover. We’d raid Bright Moon’s kitchen for cake, and then we’d eat it with our hands right off the platter.”

As Glimmer rambled on about her perfect day, Catra bowed her head, wishing she had a close-knit friendship the way Adora, Glimmer, and Bow did. She remembered the days she used to be jealous of their friendship. Now Catra knew why—Adora, Bow, and Glimmer could always count on each other when it mattered the most. Catra had Scorpia and Entrapta, but she treated them like they were the scum of the earth. Ironic, considering that was what Catra felt like at the moment. Besides, Catra was far past jealousy. She was too exhausted to conjure any emotion after raging with anger envy for almost three years.

“We used to have those.”

“What?”

“Sleepovers. Me and Adora. When we were cadets in the Horde. We’d play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about… you know, whatever.”

“Did Adora still thrash around all night and like, sleep fight? What was that about?”

Catra laughed, and her heart lifted. Not that she would ever admit it out loud, but she was appreciative of Glimmer attempting to have a decent conversation with her. “She _always_ did that. Adora can’t even relax when she’s asleep.”

“I miss them. I was so awful to them the last time we saw each other. I’d do _anything_ to go back and make it right.”

Glimmer’s words struck Catra’s heart. Lately, that was all she ever thought about. What if she could go back in time and undo some of her mistakes? Catra wouldn’t have followed Adora to Bright Moon, but maybe she wouldn’t have hurt so many people she cared about, either. Back then, Catra thought if she inflicted pain on those who betrayed her, then she would be happy, but it did nothing for her. So now what?

“What about you? What would you be doing if you were back on Etheria?”

“I… uh, nothing. There’s nothing for me on Etheria.” And that was the truth. The idea that Catra had messed up was the understatement of the century. She was responsible for destroying the lives of innocent civilians. She treated all of her friends like expendable objects. She went through extreme lengths to get things done, lengths that no one else would dare cross. And while Catra did regret some of it now, it didn’t change the fact that Adora would have never chosen her. Even if Catra followed her to Bright Moon back when she had the chance, Adora would have become best friends with Glimmer and Bow, leaving Catra alone in a frilly princess town. And to be honest, even if Catra initially held the decision against Adora, looking at it now, Catra wouldn’t have blamed her at all.

Catra stood up and walked away from Glimmer’s cell, without looking back.

* * * 

“Sister, thank you for joining us. I have been scouring, searching for She-Ra, but what I seek is not yet to be found. My drones recorded a ship leaving the planet, a ship of such ancient design that it is not detectable by my instruments. How can this be?”

Catra looked away. “I don’t know.”

Prime didn’t believe her. “Hmm…”

“I _don’t_. Me and Adora, we’re not friends; I don’t know anything about her plans.” Catra sputtered. She may not know what Adora was planning, but she knew her well, probably better than anyone. Catra would bet everything that Adora was on that undetectable ship right now.

“And yet you seek to protect her.”

Catra didn’t know how to respond to that, because she was starting to think that maybe Prime wasn’t wrong. Despite everything, some part of her couldn’t let Adora go, and she hated herself for that. As much as she wished she could, Catra could never look Prime in the eye and deny that statement. But after a few beats, Catra looked at him anyway.

“You have been speaking to our guest, Queen Glimmer, against my command. Have you not, sister?” Of course, Catra couldn’t deny that either. “You have pity for her. You will speak to her, and learn what you can; she must have some knowledge of this… mysterious ship.”

Catra looked down, feeling nauseated at the prospect. “That won’t work. She doesn’t trust me; she’s not going to give me anything. _Believe me_ , if I could tell you where Adora is, I _would_. She’s my enemy! I want her gone.” Despite that part of Catra that wanted to protect Adora, another part of her did mean what she said. It would be easier for Catra if Adora was gone than to face all the pain. Even just the _thought_ of bearing more hurt if she confronted Adora made Catra sick to her stomach. Everything would be easier for Catra if Adora fell off the face of the earth right about now.

“Oh, look at you, poor sister. Your _Adora_ causes you nothing but suffering. Don’t you want to be free of it?”

Catra gasped, horrified to realize that she would endure even _more_ pain for Adora.

“There is another way. Let me show you.” Prime looked behind Catra and motioned. “Step forward.”

Before she knew it, Catra witnessed a brutal memory wipe forced on Hordak, and it was all because she recognized him. How is it that even when she wasn’t _doing_ anything, she was still causing others pain?

_All beings must suffer to become pure._

Once the process was over, and the other Horde soldiers cheered, Prime looked down at Catra. His scrutiny made her feel like she was physically shrinking. “Do what I ask of you.”

Prime didn’t say anything else, but Catra wasn’t stupid. She knew the same thing would happen to her if she dared to disobey him. Once again, Catra had another impossible decision to make.

* * *

“Here. It’s the dumb food you wanted.” Catra couldn’t bear to look at Glimmer. “You know, from your perfect day, or whatever.”

“I remember, I just… thanks.”

“Don’t go thinking I actually care about you; I’m supposed to talk to you, so… eat the stupid cake and then answer my questions.” Catra turned and saw the Horde soldier spying on the girls through the prison door. Catra knew there wasn’t much she could say or do without Prime knowing, but she didn’t even know _what_ she was going to do if anything at all.

“What’s going on?”

“Don’t say anything. Just look at me.” Catra forced Glimmer to sit. Once Glimmer sat down, Catra crouched and leaned in to whisper. “An old First Ones ship left Etheria’s atmosphere a few days ago. Prime cannot track it. What do you know about it?”

Glimmer gasped and dropped the cake.

Catra’s heart sank, knowing what that meant. “Adora’s on that ship, isn’t she?”

She got ready to leave the cell, but before Catra could, Glimmer Glimmer grabbed her arm in desperation. “You can’t tell him; you know what he’ll do to her if he catches her!”

“Adora’s on her way here, she’s coming for you. I don’t have to do anything; I just have to let it happen.”

“And you think Prime will reward you? As soon as you’re no longer useful to him, he’ll get rid of you in a second!”

“I always find a way out!”

Glimmer pushed Catra back, refusing to let her leave. “So you’ll just run away? T-t-to what? If Prime captures Adora, he can use the Heart of Etheria to wipe out the whole universe! Is that what you want?”

Catra remained speechless as Glimmer began backing into her space. “ _Please_ , Catra! Do one good thing in your life!”

Catra was about to concede. She really was. But then she remembered that Adora didn’t care about her, even though she still cared about Adora. So why should Catra do anything? She was always spectacular at making bad choices, and this time would not be any different.

Catra yanked herself out of Glimmer’s grasp. “Don’t talk to me like you know me! You don’t know _anything_ about me!” Catra began banging on the cell door. “Hey, let me out!”

So, for the millionth time in her life, Catra ran.

* * *

Catra walked down the hall, feeling ashamed that she told Prime everything she knew. She couldn’t stop replaying his words in her mind. _You have done well, little sister. Soon, She-Ra will be mine, and with her, Etheria._ Catra’s insides were not warming up to the prospect of Prime winning control over Etheria.

Catra thought about the day that she hit Lonnie, and how Adora didn’t give up on her, even after Catra scratched her face. Catra remembered the raging jealousy that seeped through her veins. Adora definitely knew how flawed Catra was, but she came back, anyway. Even back then, Adora tried to help Catra make good choices. But Catra was never that person, no matter how much Adora wanted her to be. That was why she vowed never to apologize to anyone. But looking back, Catra never dreamed one day that statement would apply to _Adora_. Now, Catra questioned everything she ever knew, or said, or did.

_Soon, She-Ra will be mine, and with her, Etheria. All because of you._

As much as Catra tried to avoid it, guilt crawled under her skin. She betrayed Etheria _again_ because she couldn’t make the right decision. But could she live with the fact that Prime would obliterate Etheria because of her? Even if Etheria didn’t always feel like home, it was the only home Catra ever had.

_You made the right choice._

Did she? Did she really? Prime may have said that, and maybe Catra a year ago would have believed it, but at that moment, she didn’t feel like it was the right decision. She doesn’t even know why she chose to tattle to Prime. The only excuse Catra could conjure was that doing terrible things was muscle memory. An instinct. She never had to think twice about it before, but things were different now.

Suddenly, Catra heard a giggle in the distance. She turned to find herself immersed in the same memory, at the end when she and Adora made up and began playfully tackling one another. Catra gasped, having forgotten about that part.

Catra’s eyes widened when Adora looked in her direction. Young Adora was part of the memory, but somehow, she wasn’t looking through Catra—she was looking right _at_ her.

“I’m always going to be your friend,” Adora echoed excitedly, thinking she was looking into her future. The prospect of letting a younger version of Adora down, a version where they were best friends, just didn’t sit well with Catra.

There comes a point in everyone’s lives where they must make impossible choices. Catra figured she had already endured them all, but there was another one, staring at her in the face. She did not have many options left, and her time frame was limited. She didn’t even have a plan for heaven’s sake. Catra already established that it was her nature to make bad choices and that she couldn’t change. But if that was the case, then why did opportunities keep throwing themselves at her? Why did Adora never give up on her? Catra may be crazy, but this could also be her last shot. She had to make it a good one.

_You will be exalted, raised up above the other wretched creatures of your home world. Is that not what you wanted?_

As Catra sprinted toward Glimmer’s cell, she knew what she wanted. She thinks she always did; she was just too stubborn to admit it. It was never what Prime offered, but rather, the future Young Adora saw. A future where they could be friends. Catra didn’t think it would ever happen, and she still didn’t. She wasn’t naive, but she had to be a friend to Adora in the end. She couldn’t let her down. It was all Catra had left.

When Catra made it to Glimmer’s cell, she hovered behind the clone delivering Glimmer her food. Once she had the perfect opportunity, Catra jumped on the clone’s back, wrestling with them until she knocked them out.

“It’s nothing personal, Hordak.” Catra lifted him and used his hand to open the cell. “I’m coming in!”

Once the barrier was down, Glimmer stared at Catra, utterly confused. “What are you doing?”

“I wanna do that one good thing in my life. Like you said. So… come with me,” Catra explained, holding out her hand.

Catra led Glimmer to the launch deck, but before they got there, Horde soldiers ambushed them. Catra and Glimmer took them down and were relieved once it seemed like the coast was clear. Unfortunately, an alarm started blaring, and that made Catra realize they were running out of time.

“Let’s go.”

Catra ran, and Glimmer followed her to the deck. Once they made it, Catra shoved Glimmer onto the launch pad and prepared to send her away.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m getting you out of here.” The doors slid shut. “Good, that should hold them.”

“Wait, are you… are you saving me?”

Catra realized that she was saving Glimmer, but Sparkles was _not_ the reason she was doing it. “Not you, _Adora_. Even if I sent her a message to stay away, she would still come for you, that’s just how she is.”

Clones began clawing the door open, and Catra’s heart rate picked up its pace.

“What about you?”

Catra was taken aback at the question. It was the first time she considered the consequences that she would endure once Glimmer was gone. “Me? All I do is hurt people. There’s no one left in the entire universe who cares about me.”

* * *

The last thing Adora expected to hear when she patched the call through was Catra’s panicked voice. “Adora?!”

Adora’s eyes widened in shock. “ _Catra_?”

“You don’t sound so happy to hear me. I’m sending Glimmer to you. I don’t know your exact location, but I can get her to your quadrant. You _have_ to be there to catch her.”

Adora was nowhere near caught up with everything Catra was saying. It was too much for her to process. “Wait, wait, wait, what? What’s going on? Glimmer is—is with you?”

On Catra’s end, clones began piling their way into the room. She had to fight them off. “We don’t have time. You need to get to these coordinates _now_. _Don’t_ come here, no matter what. Horde Prime is ready for you!”

“Catra, I don’t understand, what is—”

Catra shrieked. She didn’t have enough time to say everything she wanted to, but she had to try. As a couple of soldiers grabbed her and pinned her to the wall, Catra fought them off with tears streaming down her face. “Just listen! Adora, I’m sorry. For everything!”

Adora could not believe her ears, but she had to snap out of it because if there was even the slightest chance she could get Catra back, there was no way in hell she would let her go. But there was only one last thing Catra had to do to ensure Adora’s safety. She pushed her way back to the launch machine, slid her fingers up, and within moments, Glimmer was gone.

The communication line went static. “No. No, no, no! Catra, come back!” Adora wailed, tears welling in her eyes.

_The communication channel has been closed._

Adora couldn’t believe what happened. Catra saved Glimmer at her own expense. Maybe Catra was on their side after all, and Adora could have gotten her best friend back. But since the communication line cut and Horde Prime still had Catra, the one thing Adora wanted ever since she left the Horde slipped right through her fingers. And the worst part was, _she almost had it_. Catra dangled in her grasp, and Adora felt it.

But in the end, none of that mattered, because Adora still lost Catra. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out on [tumblr](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)! And as always, thank you ell for reviewing these drabbles <3.


	17. S05E04 Stranded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora's thoughts on Catra's sacrifice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was a while since the last update, but I've been working hard at finishing the season five drabbles! as you all know, there are _tons_ of catradora moments ;).
> 
> thanks ell for reviewing the drabbles!

“So, let me make sure I get this right. Catra saved you from Horde Prime? Like, _Catra_ , Catra? Why would she do that? It doesn’t make any sense,” Adora stammered, still reeling in shock from everything that happened.

“She said she wanted to do one good thing in her life. She said she was doing it for you.” 

Adora always thought Catra as her sworn enemy was the worst thing possible, but boy, was she wrong. Catra sought redemption only to remain Horde Prime’s prisoner was far worse. Her sacrifice made Adora’s heart lurch in a way that it never did before.

Just a few minutes before, there was a chance that Adora and Catra could fight side by like they always should have, but now, it was too late.

Adora sighed and slid against the wall, exhausted from defeat. Ever since she left the Horde, part of her felt responsible for Catra, although Adora knew that she was not accountable for Catra’s bad decisions. However, that did not change how Adora secretly hoped Catra would become a better person. Adora knew she could; she just witnessed it. Of course, Catra caught Adora off guard, but only because Adora did not expect to hear from Catra, not because Adora thought Catra was beyond redemption. Nevertheless, it did not matter how much Adora agonized over what happened because Catra still sacrificed herself to save them, and based on the chaos Adora heard, she knew why Catra sacrificed herself.

Catra saved Glimmer because she thought she would never see Adora or Etheria again. Catra had finally reached her limit, and she felt like there was only one thing left to do. So, Catra gave up her life for Glimmer so that Adora could save Etheria. However, by the time Adora defeated Prime, Catra would be long gone, and everyone would owe their lives to Catra because she finally recognized what Adora always knew—there _was_ good inside of her.

Adora only wished that she could have saved Catra instead of letting her down again.

* * *

“Horde Prime _always_ wins. He’s unstoppable.”

Adora would never accept that. Maybe Catra has, and the majority of the universe probably has, but Adora could not. Accepting defeat meant she would never get Catra back.

“And you’re just one girl with a stick, what could you possibly do?” 

Nothing hurt more than another reminder that without She-Ra, the chances of seeing Catra again were even slimmer. “Well, I used to be… stronger. But that doesn’t matter. If everyone works together, I know we can take him down. He has to pay for what he did, and he… he has someone on his ship. Someone I…” Adora could not think about what Catra meant to her at the moment. “We’re stopping him. Period.” 

“If your friend is with Prime, it’s already too late.” 

“Oh, no, Catra is not my friend. I mean, she’s… used to be, but that was a long time ago, and she’s tried to kill me a bunch of times since then. But then she saved Glimmer, and maybe that means there’s still good in her, and now, I don’t know, it’s… it’s complicated.” Adora rambled nervously.

“Everything seems _really_ complicated with you,” Tallstar said dryly.

“Whatever she is, friend or not, she’s gone. There’s no point in going back for her. No one stands up to Prime and survives, I’m sorry.” 

Adora wished she could just dismiss Jewelstar’s comments as negativity, but she knew better. Although she was a positive person, Adora knew Catra’s future was hazy, and hearing it from somebody else only confirmed her worst fears.

But Adora being, well, _Adora_ , Jewelstar’s observations only made her more determined to get Catra back.

* * *

Adora smiled as she watched Bow and Glimmer make up. Then, she turned to look at the endless universe in front of her, littered in stars. Adora realized that Catra was somewhere out there and that there was a possibility Horde Prime was torturing her. Catra risked _everything_ for her. Adora could not look at Etherian skies again while knowing she did not rescue Catra.

Adora knew what she had to do.

“Adora? Are you okay?” Glimmer asked, approaching her side.

“Yeah, I just… Look, I know this is going to sound crazy and dangerous, and I know Catra was our enemy, and she’s done _a lot_ of bad things and hurt _a lot_ of people, but—” 

“You wanna go back for her.” Glimmer interrupted as she put her hands on Adora’s shoulders.

Adora sighed and nodded, dangerously close to sobbing. “I can’t just leave her there. I have to try.” 

“Catra sacrificed herself to save me. Whatever you need to do, I’m with you.” 

Adora smiled at Glimmer, and Bow approached them. “Then let’s do this. Best Friends Squad style.” He said, pulling them in for a group hug.

For the first time since Adora left Etheria, a spark of hope ignited her heart. Her friends were always there for her, and they always knew how to make her feel better. Even if they did not want to go back for Catra, they would still go for Adora.

Adora only hoped that they were not too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come hang out on tumblr!](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)


	18. S05E05 Save the Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora saves Catra from Horde Prime.

“This is how it’s going to go. We’re gonna make a deal. You’re gonna give me Catra, and then you’re gonna let me leave again, free and clear. I have something you want, a weapon that only She-Ra can activate. The Heart of Etheria. And if you don’t do as I say, then I’ll use it, and destroy you and your empire for good.”

Horde Prime laughed.

Adora was genuinely confused by his reaction. She cleared her throat. “Is… is something funny?”

“You are not going to use the weapon, or you would have already done so. You would never risk the safety of your _Catra_.” He said her name as if he knew of Adora’s well and buried feelings, feelings that even she could not admit to herself.

But Adora didn’t falter. “You don’t know me, and you don’t know what I’m capable of.”

“Oh, but I _do_. I am old, far older than you can imagine. My brothers lend me their life force, and when one vessel fails me, I simply elect another. Thus, Prime has reigned eternal through the centuries. There is something so _familiar_ about you, Adora. A face I have not seen in a thousand years. Not since I faced your ancestors, and crushed their once-mighty empire beneath my heel. You call them the First Ones. And you are one of them, are you not, Adora?”

Adora’s eyes widened. This mission was more difficult than she initially thought, but she couldn’t give up. Adora refused to leave Horde Prime’s ship without finding what she came here for.

Catra.

* * *

“I don’t fight for the First Ones. I fight for my home, for myself, and for _my friends_. Now for the last time, _where is Catra_?”

“Adora?”

Adora perked up when she heard Catra. “Catra? Where are you?”

“Of course, your _Catra_. She hoped you would come for her, poor thing. So all I had to do was wait. As she would have said, ‘you are so very predictable.’ Come here, child.”

Adora thought Prime was talking to her, but he looked past her. She turned and saw two Horde soldiers bring in a cloaked figure. Adora had an inkling of who it was before they even revealed themselves.

Her suspicions were confirmed when Catra took off the hood, but Adora was still shocked to see Catra’s normally cyan-yellow eyes flash neon-green. “Hello, Adora.”

Adora stared for a few moments as her heart sank. This was not the Catra that she knew. Adora never thought she would miss fighting Catra, but at that moment, she did. Adora would give anything just to see the _real_ Catra.

Adora’s shock wore off and transitioned into a fiery rage. She jumped forward to get to Catra, but Horde soldiers reached Adora first. “What did you do to her?!” She shouted.

Adora could only watch, helpless and horrified, as Catra bowed before Prime.

“I have made her anew. I saw her mind, so ensnared in rage, and grief, and pain… and I brought her to the light. Isn’t that right, little sister?”

Adora refused to accept it. “Catra, you have to fight it!”

“My place is with Horde Prime, Adora. I don’t want to leave.”

“Tell her what I’ve done for you.”

Catra walked toward Adora. “Prime has given me peace, something you could never do.” Catra tenderly placed a hand on Adora’s cheek. Her touch sent chills down Adora’s spine. “You broke my heart, but he has made it whole again. Don’t you see? This is for the best. I’m happy here. You could be happy, too.”

Adora’s heart broke as Catra spilled brainwashed nonsense from her mouth. A few tears slipped down Adora’s cheeks. She had no idea how broken Catra was before Horde Prime indoctrinated her. Adora wished she was there for her friend.

Well, Adora was not going to give up on Catra now. “Let her go.”

Horde Prime placed his hand on Catra’s neck. “Shall we make a deal, Adora? I will give her to you if you want her. But first, you must do something for me. You will give me She-Ra.”

“Never!”

“Very well.”

Horde Prime snapped his fingers, and suddenly, a high-pitched screech wailed in Adora’s ears.

“You miscalculated. _I see all. I know all._ You thought yourself worthy to challenge me, but you are nothing but a false hero, the last of the First Ones to fall at my hands. You have led your friends to destruction.”

Adora still reeled from the noise when she noticed that Prime unintentionally pressed the back of Catra’s neck. For a moment, she swore she saw Catra’s real eyes crush Prime’s hold, but in a blink, it was gone.

Horde Prime squeezed Catra’s neck. “Go on, fulfill your purpose. Bring out She-Ra and strike me down.”

Adora did not know how to respond, especially since her plan just went out the window.

So, Prime continued talking. “Ah… but you two must have a lot of catching up to do. I will leave you to it. Let me know when you’re ready to make a deal.”

Horde Prime and his clones left the room, leaving Adora and Catra alone. Adora stood and looked at Catra cautiously. Maybe she could save her friend; perhaps it was not too late.

But then, Catra whipped out her claws, and Adora’s heart sank.

* * *

Adora did not see it coming, but Catra punched her. The only thing Adora could do was fight back. When it was clear that Catra would not stop, Adora realized she had to get through to Catra before it was too late.

“Catra, listen to me. I know you’re still in there. I’m not leaving without you.” Adora’s emotions bested her as tears fell from her eyes again. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Suddenly, Catra wiggled her way out of Adora’s grasp. She gained the upper hand and captured Adora in a loose chokehold. “Everything is already okay. We are with Prime now. There is no need for you to suffer, Adora. Come into the light with me.”

Adora knew that it was not really Catra talking. She was so furious that she grabbed Catra’s shirt from behind and threw her as hard as possible.

Once Catra was on the ground, Adora walked toward her. “Snap out of it, Catra! I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Catra sat where she landed, unable to stop laughing. “But you have already hurt me. Prime has set me free of that pain. The pain that _you_ caused. He will set us all free, forever. A world of peace without end.”

Catra walked up the steps to Prime’s throne. Each word she uttered shot a bullet through Adora’s heart. Adora wished she had tried harder to save her friend.

Catra leaped from Prime’s throne to fight Adora again. Then, Adora pushed Catra so hard that she teetered off the edge of the room. Adora quickly realized that it was not just an edge, but a bottomless, black pit that led to nowhere. Infinity space, maybe.

“Catra!” Adora exclaimed, terrified that she was about to lose her.

Catra looked down at the bottomless pit. When her eyes met Adora’s, she laughed. Then, Catra pushed herself off the edge.

Time moved in slow motion, but Adora would not allow anything to stop her from saving Catra. She lunged forward and grabbed her, safely pulling her back. Instinctively, Adora embraced Catra and cried tears of relief.

But Catra took advantage of the opportunity and scratched Adora’s back. _Hard_. “Oh, Adora. How long will you drag this out? You will destroy the ones you love in the process.”

Adora was stunned that Prime channeled Catra’s body to _speak_ to her. Before she could do anything, Prime Catra dragged Adora, ready to push her into the pit.

Catra dangled Adora over the edge as she continued talking. “She was afraid, in the end, and she suffered. Perhaps I will make her my new vessel, though she would not last me long. What do you think, Adora?”

Adora raged at Prime’s words. She regained her balance and slammed Catra into the glass wall. Electricity crackled at the back of Catra’s neck.

Catra laughed. When she looked at Adora, her eyes flickered between the cyan-yellow Adora knew and loved, and Horde Prime’s magnetic neon-green glow.

The room shook a little, but that did not phase Adora. She was closer to getting Catra back than ever. “I am not giving up on you, Catra.”

“Then you’re a fool. You cannot stop Horde Prime. He will reign triumphant over all the universe. It is destiny.”

The room was not stable at all. Electricity sparked around them and zapped Catra’s neck again. She screamed in agony.

“No!” Adora cried. She held onto Catra tightly and backed them away from the wall.

Everything was eerily silent for a moment, and then, the walls exploded.

* * *

Catra blinked. Adora looked down and found a chip planted in her skin. She stared as the real Catra gained control over herself. “Adora, you should have _stayed away_. Why did you come back? We both know _I don’t matter_.”

Adora’s heart broke all over again when Catra said that. Even when they fought on opposite sides, Catra was still important to her. Catra would _always_ matter. Adora tenderly placed a hand on Catra’s face. “ _You_ matter to me!”

Tears brimmed in Catra’s eyes. She tried to will them away as she gazed at Adora in awe. She just woke up from Prime’s control, and she could not piece together one coherent thought because Adora was looking at her as if there was nothing else in the world. It was everything she ever wanted.

But then, Catra’s eyes glowed green again. Back under Prime’s spell, Catra punched Adora, stood up, and walked toward the edge. However, the chip crackled again, and she stumbled.

“Come on, Catra! You’ve never listened to anyone in your life! Are you really going to start now?”

Catra felt like she was drowning. She had trouble holding onto her autonomy; it felt like she was riding an underwater rollercoaster. Catra clawed for the surface, desperate to find a way out. Whenever Prime regained control, he trapped her in a catatonic limbo, but fighting for herself was not that much better because Catra used every ounce of strength just to earn a few moments back. Then, she became Prime’s pawn all over again.

Catra regained control for a few moments, long enough to look at Adora with a dopey smile and say, “You’re such an idiot.”

Adora started crying again. “Yeah, I know!”

Catra giggled, but Adora was not worried. She knew that this was the real Catra. Hearing her laugh was the most beautiful sound Adora ever heard. Catra’s authenticity restored a new kind of perseverance deep inside Adora. “I’m going to take you home,” Adora fiercely proclaimed.

As Catra struggled once again, she reminded herself to stay awake because Adora came back for her. Catra never thought this would happen, not in a thousand years. Adora’s presence ignited a vulnerable and painful longing inside Catra. “Promise?”

Adora held out her hand. There was no hesitation this time. “I _promise_.”

The hope inside Catra expanded as she reached out for her friend. Maybe she could escape Horde Prime. “Adora…” But then, a horrible cracking sound forced Catra to pull away, and her mind went dark.

* * *

_Disappointing. Some creatures are destined only for destruction._

Prime’s words rang in Adora’s ears as she watched Catra fall off the edge. “No!” Adora screamed, but it was too late. Catra fell into the abyss, and Adora did not catch her in time.

 _But they were so close._ Adora could not give up on Catra now. For a split second, she was back on Darla, when the communication line went static and Catra was gone. Adora remembered the mind-numbing anguish hang over her, and how she never wanted to feel that despair again. She refused to leave Catra behind.

So, Adora did the only logical thing she could—she jumped.

* * *

Darkness engulfed Adora to the point that she believed she went blind. She knew she was alive because her head throbbed in pain, but her vision was pitch black.

Adora opened her eyes. Once her vision cleared, she gasped, noticing Catra’s lifeless body several feet away. Adora tried to stand, but she lost her balance, so she wiggled her way across the floor on her stomach instead.

When Adora reached Catra, she propped herself on her knees. “Catra? _Catra_? It’s okay. I’m here.”

Catra struggled to breathe. Initially, Adora was relieved because Catra showed signs of life, but Adora realized that Catra was breathing _like she was about to die_. Adora refused to accept that. She embraced Catra and buried her head in her neck, tears filling her eyes.

Adora heard movement in the background, but she did not acknowledge anything. She barely paid attention until she heard Prime’s voice, goosebumps forming on her arms. “I am sorry for the needless waste, Adora. It did not have to be like this. Are you ready to cooperate?”

Adora could not take Prime’s manipulative, phony sympathy. He killed the person she cared for most in the world, and now he dared to give her fake condolences? Adora was _not_ going to let him get away with it.

Something deep inside her stirred. She could not pinpoint the exact feeling, but it was all too familiar as if she pieced the last part of a puzzle together. Her puzzle. That was when it hit Adora—it was _magic_. Magic breathed through her body and flowed through her veins. This was _She-Ra_.

Adora opened her eyes as She-Ra enveloped them. Magic lifted Adora and Catra into the air, supported by She-Ra’s power. Once they floated, Adora knew what she had to do.

_“For the honor of Grayskull!”_

Adora transformed into She-Ra countless times, and every single one of them gave her a powerful rush, but there was something about this particular transformation that was different from the others. This change was She-Ra’s rebirth, but the magic felt different because the sword no longer supported She-Ra. This time, new, mighty energy carried She-Ra—something so pure that Adora did not even recognize it at first. She never experienced an essence as strong as this, but looking back, Adora realized there was only one entity strong enough to sustain She-Ra’s magic.

Love.

So, with love as She-Ra’s newfound strength, Adora rescued Catra from Horde Prime.

* * *

Once Darla blasted them out of Horde Prime’s atmosphere, Adora rushed to Catra’s side. Bow and Glimmer knelt by Catra’s head. When Adora crouched to their level, she immediately swooped Catra in her arms.

“Come on, Catra. You’re not done. Not yet.” Adora pulled Catra closer as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. “We’re going home.”

Adora felt one last rush of She-Ra’s power flow through her, almost like she channeled her magic through Catra. After a few moments, Adora released her power and changed back into herself.

Remnants of She-Ra sprinkled a brilliant gold as Catra slowly woke up. She coughed, opened her eyes, and smiled softly. “Hey, Adora.”

Adora was so happy that she cried harder as she held Catra close. She felt like if she didn’t, Catra would slip through her grasp again. However, Catra did not move, and after a few moments, she returned the embrace, clutching Adora with just as much passion.

There was so much they needed to talk about, and neither of them knew where to start. But Adora and Catra had time; they had all the time in the world. So, they basked in each other’s presence as a silent understanding passed between them, knowing that they had a lot of tension to resolve later.

But for now, Adora and Catra focused on the serenity they reached because they were in each other’s arms again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come hang out on tumblr!](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)


	19. S05E06 Taking Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of rescuing Catra.

_Little Sister._

_Catra._

Catra shrieked when she woke up, frightened by the endless nightmares of Horde Prime taunting her.

She was still piecing her thoughts together when the doors slid open. Fearing the worst, Catra screamed.

But it was just Adora. “Hey. Hey, it’s just me.”

Catra huffed and rolled onto her side. Once the high from Adora and Catra’s reunion wore off, Catra placed an invisible blockade around herself. Until she figured out what she wanted to do, Catra could not handle people hovering over her, or worse—treating her with fragility because they were afraid she would break. And by people, Catra meant Adora.

Meanwhile, Adora walked on eggshells around Catra. She wanted to give her friend all the space and time she needed, but the longer Catra shut her out, the more conflicted Adora became. Adora tentatively reached out to comfort Catra, but in the end, she dropped her hand, fearing that her touch would upset Catra. Adora _just_ got her back, and she didn’t even know if she _had_ her. “Are you… still getting the flashes?”

“Yes, I keep having this horrible vision of a blonde girl, who thinks she’s better than everyone, barging into my room all day. Oh, wait.” Catra looked up and glared at Adora to emphasize her point before she flopped back down.

Catra’s words stung, but Adora tried not to let them get to her. She sighed. “We’ll find a way to get the chip off. If you’d just let Entrapta take a look at it, I bet she could—”

As soon as Adora mentioned Entrapta, Catra panicked. Catra did _not_ want to seem weak, especially since she already portrayed weakness when she was emotionally intimate with Adora after she rescued her. So, as usual, Catra threw a pillow over her face and deflected. “I don’t wanna see anyone, okay? Not you, not Arrow Boy, or Sparkles, and _definitely_ not Entrapta.”

Adora pulled the pillow away. “So you’re just gonna hide in here forever? You’ll have to face them sometime.”

“No, I don’t. Just drop me off on the closest planet, I’ll make my own way.”

Adora was frustrated. She knew Catra was stubborn, but she expected more because of the intimate reunion they had. Adora did not want things to revert, but so far, their relationship was an absolute train wreck that Catra refused to acknowledge. “What, so Horde Prime can capture you again?”

_“I can take care of myself!”_

_Since Catra is acting as if nothing changed, I should do the same thing,_ Adora thought bitterly. In a fury, she threw Catra and her mattress onto the floor. “I promised I’d take you home, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Why are you acting like this?! We saved your life!”

“ _I told you_ not to come back! But you just love feeling like a hero, don’t you?”

“You’d rather I left you there to _die_?”

“WHAT DO YOU CARE? I know you all hate me!”

Adora’s heart shattered. As much as she wanted to pretend that they were still rivals, it was impossible. Adora could not bear Catra thinking she hated her. Yes, they were sworn enemies, but Adora had always hoped that Catra would realize she belonged with her. Adora was not sure she would ever recover if Catra left now. “I _never_ hated you!”

Catra’s eyes widened in shock, and she was at a loss for words. After everything she did, how could Adora _not_ hate her? So, Catra did _one_ good thing, but it did not change the fact that she hated the person she saw in the mirror. Even Catra knew that she was a horrible person. Did Adora not see the same thing? “Then you’re even dumber than I thought. Just… leave me alone.”

Adora realized that if Catra did not acknowledge what she said, then Catra would not acknowledge anything. “I’m such an idiot. I thought things would be different this time, but clearly, _nothing_ has changed!” Adora said as she stormed out of the room.

Once Adora’s footsteps faded, Catra turned and looked at the naked doorway. She never thought a door could look so bare, but when Adora left, her larger-than-life presence went with her. Strangely, Catra somehow related to the doorway—she too had never felt so exposed and so small. However, it was entirely her fault—she pushed Adora away, even when Adora tried to be a good friend (and Adora didn’t even owe her anything). However, Catra was stubborn; it was just in her nature. She always messed things up, no matter what she did. So, why didn’t Adora just give up already?

After all, Catra already had.

* * *

Catra tried to sleep, but a new slew of flashes came on, and they _wouldn’t go away_. Just as she forced another vision out of her mind, Adora walked into the room. Catra froze, unsure how to react, but then, Adora pulled Entrapta inside, which freaked out Catra. “What is she doing in here?! I told you I want to be alone.”

“Entrapta’s going to remove your chip.”

Catra backed herself into a corner, her heart racing wildly. “You’re going to let her operate on me?! She’ll kill me!”

“Me? Why would I wanna hurt you?” Entrapta paused. “Oh, you mean because you sent me to Beast Island, stole my work, and used it to rip a hole in the fabric of space and time, I get it. Hold still!”

Entrapta’s words made Catra squirm, and once Entrapta moved to extract the chip, Catra panicked again. “STAY AWAY FROM ME!”

“Catra, Horde Prime is tracking that chip. He’s coming for us right now. So grow up, and let us remove it, or we’re all dead.” Adora said heatedly.

Catra prepared to claw at Adora, but Adora grabbed her wrist and pushed her against the wall before she could.

Catra sunk to the ground in fear, but that did not faze Adora. “We’re doing this. Then if you think hiding from the people you hurt will make you feel better, we’ll drop you off, and you’ll never have to see us again.” Adora paused and inhaled deeply. She looked down solemnly before she spoke. “You’ll never have to see me again.”

Catra was not thinking correctly, because if she were, she would have let Adora go. But the thought of never seeing her again? Any rational thought Catra disappeared out the window as she reached for Adora’s arm. “Adora, wait.” Once Adora stilled, Catra slid her hand into Adora’s. She was definitely not thinking straight if she sought such an intimate touch. “Please… stay.”

Adora nodded, heat flooding her veins from Catra’s hands. She was relieved that Catra asked for her because Adora could finally prove that she was there for her friend unconditionally, even if Catra left after the chip’s removal.

Once Adora got Catra back on the bed, Entrapta approached. “Experiment number 982: removal of embedded Horde chip. Let’s begin!”

Catra felt pressure at the back of her neck, and her skin prickled. She braced herself for the extraction, but suddenly, another wave of flashes swept through her. Catra gasped. “Wait. Not yet.”

“Catra, we don’t have time!”

“I can help you, okay?” Catra shouted to get Adora’s attention. Once she had it, Catra realized that she would have to be honest with Adora, and in this scenario, being honest meant _vulnerable_. Catra looked down, knowing that she could only confide in Adora if she looked away. “When Horde Prime was… using me, I felt… it’s like, uh, it’s like all his clones are connected to some kind of hive mind, and I was part of it.”

Adora’s face softened, and she put a comforting hand on Catra’s shoulder. Her heart ached. She knew the flashes were terrible, but she had no idea that Catra suffered that intensely. Catra’s trauma made Adora more determined to take care of her in the best way possible. “Those flashes you’re getting?”

“It’s him. He’s still in there. He can… he can see me,” Catra’s voice shook, but she was persistent in finishing her thought. She gripped the back of her neck and steadied her voice. “But maybe I can see him, too. I can find out what he’s planning.”

“No, you can’t risk letting him back into your head.”

But Catra wouldn’t listen. She did not realize it at the time, but looking back, this was the second instance where Catra risked everything to ensure Adora’s safety because Adora was _everything_ to her. In this case, Adora was especially critical to the rest of the world, but the only thing Catra truly cared about was Adora. Maybe Catra always felt this way, even when they were enemies. “Adora, you _have_ to let me try. Otherwise, you’re gonna do something stupid and get yourself killed. Just…” Catra squeezed Adora’s hand. “Just stay with me while I do it, okay?”

Adora smiled softly and nodded at Entrapta, who backed off. Catra closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and focused. “I can feel him. He’s… he’s angry.” Connecting to Horde Prime hurt Catra, but she refused to acknowledge any pain until Adora gasped. Catra opened her eyes to show that she was alright, and then she concentrated on the chip again. “He wants revenge. He wants to make you hurt, he’s… _attacking_ Etheria. No. No, no, no, not attacking. Something new is happening. There’s so much noise. He’s…” Catra’s hands shook, but Adora held on tightly. As a result, warmth flooded Catra’s body, fuelling her to persevere until the finish line, no matter how much pain she endured. “He’s chipping them. He’s going to chip them all!” Catra opened her eyes and gasped. Sweat trickled down her face. “Horde Prime is taking control of Etheria!”

“No, he… he can’t.”

“It’s already happening. You gotta stop him!”

Suddenly, Darla violently shook. Catra and Adora clutched each other as if they were magnets attracted to the same field. Everything else around them became a blur. Catra focused on the heat of Adora’s embrace and how safe she felt, and Adora shielded Catra, determined to protect her from harm.

Eventually, the ship settled, but Darla’s booming voice had everyone on edge. “The hull has sustained multiple fractures. We will be unable to withstand another full-on strike.”

Adora loosened her grip, but Catra still felt the warmth on her skin and the solace of Adora’s presence. Catra realized that she did not want Adora to drop her off at the next planet unless Adora stayed with her. For Catra, home was never Etheria, not really. She could be stranded in outer space for the rest of her life if Adora was by her side. Catra thought that maybe she could face her demons if Adora was there. Adora was all that mattered, anyway. Adora was home, and if she was determined to go back to Etheria, then so was Catra.

Catra looked at Adora with an earnest, pleading gaze. “Adora, please. I… I want to go home.”

Adora, still holding onto Catra’s shoulder, smiled as determination spread across her eyes. “We will.” She hugged Catra. “I’m getting us out of here. Etheria needs us.” Adora pulled away, knowing what she had to do. “And I won’t let him hurt _anyone_ else.”

“Where are you going?” Catra asked as her heart raced.

“To send Horde Prime a message.” Adora did not force her transformation because She-Ra breathed to life naturally, her energy vibrating under her skin. It felt similar to how Adora’s pure, raw love for Catra surged through her veins.

_“For the honor of Grayskull!”_

Catra was mesmerized as Adora transformed into She-Ra, gaping in awe. Once Adora finished, she left Catra’s room to send Horde Prime her message. Catra stared at the door for a while after Adora left with only one thought in her mind.

_God, I’m so screwed._

* * *

Catra was beyond relieved that the chip was finally gone. She was eternally grateful to Entrapta for removing it, especially since she didn’t owe Catra anything.

Catra’s gut welled in shame. Her initial thought was to push the feeling away, but she thought of Adora’s unwavering belief in Catra. Adora knew that Catra had a full heart capable of love, redemption, and friendship. If Adora thought all those things, then maybe Catra was not a lost cause after all. Besides, now that they were going home _together_ , Catra could not bear to let Adora down. She had to try, at least. “Entrapta, wait.”

Entrapta turned around, and Catra took a deep breath. Tears welled in her eyes, but she knew that things would gradually become better if she apologized, and her path to redemption would become easier with every step she took. “Thank you. And… I’m sorry.”

Of course, Entrapta forgave Catra by patting her on the head with her own hair. Catra’s emotions overwhelmed her at the moment, but in any other circumstance, she would have snorted in amusement. It was such a sweet and dorky thing for Entrapta to do, and Catra didn’t expect anything less from her.

 _One down, infinity to go._ But if Entrapta forgave her, then maybe she was becoming a better person already.

* * *

Catra was hungry.

She knew she could not avoid seeing the others forever. Her stomach’s growls were a painful reminder, and the longer she waited, the more she overthought. _What if they don’t want me there?_ It was one thing to tolerate Catra’s presence, and maybe even forgive her, but it was another thing entirely to be _friends_ with her.

Before Catra lost her nerve, she decided to get some food. Even if she took a small portion, dashed back to her room, and spent the next couple of days sulking, at least she could say that she _tried_.

The closer Catra got to the main deck, the more twisted her insides became. Catra stood up to Shadow Weaver, Hordak, and even Horde Prime, but somehow, this was scarier than any of that had ever been. Defying her superiors was a piece of cake, but the thought of failing to fit in made Catra want to throw up.

But soon enough, Catra made it to the main deck, and she pushed the button, waiting for the door to open.

Once the doors slid open, everyone stopped talking and turned to her. Catra stood still to see how they would react. When none of them moved, Catra tentatively approached the group, but instead of infiltrating the circle, she stopped a few feet away and sat down. If they were going to reject her, it would be far less humiliating if she distanced herself.

The next few moments stretched on forever. The longer everyone stayed silent, the more Catra’s heart sank. She was sure they were just going to give her food and send her away. It was only a matter of seconds.

But then, Glimmer and Bow moved to make space, inviting Catra to sit with them. Glimmer smiled, handing her a dinner roll, and Catra accepted the food. Catra’s heart lifted as she dared to look at Adora, her eyes shining with hope. Of course, Adora beamed, encouraging Catra to eat. Catra smiled back as serenity settled in her heart. She took a bite of the roll.

Soon after that, everyone resumed chatting. Catra did not butt into their conversations, but it was not because she felt out of place—it was quite the opposite. For once in her life, Catra was at peace; she felt confident enough to sit with her new friends without feeling pressured to keep up with them. For the first time, she floated in her current headspace, liberated by the lack of anxiety weighing down her soul.

So, Catra basked in the glow of her friends without a single burden in her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you ell for helping out, and [here's my tumblr](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/) if you want to come say hi!


	20. S05E07 Perils of Peekablue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Catradora fluff and reflection on the way back to Etheria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took a while! I became super busy with the new school year and work, so this had to go on hold for a bit. However, I finally finished writing all season five drabbles, and ell (my beta) has reviewed everything up until 5x12, and is currently reading that one now! I'm sorry this was a long time, but I hope it was worth the wait <3

The more time passed, the more Catra felt at ease on Darla. It was no longer just Adora that she was comfortable around—the twinge of anxiety in her heart dulled a little more each day whenever Catra was around Glimmer, Bow, and Entrapta. She was more confident about spending time with them, and more importantly, she was more confident about spending time with _Adora_. Catra did not feel the urge to keep her guard up as much. She still locked her heart in a giant fortress, but she loosened the latch, allowing herself more access, which meant that Catra followed Adora around like a lost puppy, unashamedly. 

Well, a lost kitten, in this case.

“What’s going on?” Catra asked, entering the ship’s main deck. “Ooh, are we messing with Adora?” Catra asked, hurrying over to the group and flinging herself onto Adora’s lap. _No shame._

Meanwhile, every nerve in Adora’s body lit up like a livewire when Catra sat on her lap. “Catra, do you have to sit _right there_?”

“What? I’m not doing anything.”

“ADORA, CONCENTRATE!” Glimmer suddenly shouted, interrupting their moment.

“Yeah, Adora, concentrate,” Catra smirked.

“You can do it!” Bow said.

Catra started purring. _Again, no shame._ God, she would usually be embarrassed, but whenever Catra was around Adora, it was easier to let her guard down. If she were thinking correctly, Catra would have smacked herself out of this stupor. Why couldn’t she love Adora silently? The more open she was, the more everyone would discover her true feelings. Maybe they already knew. Maybe _Adora_ knew.

However, Adora was too focused on She-Ra to notice anything else. She felt the magic in her soul, so why couldn’t she bring her to life? She knew how—she transformed _twice_ in the last several weeks. What what was so different this time?

It was even more annoying that She-Ra was teetering on the precipice of life. Adora could _feel_ her; she just did not want to come out for some reason. It did not make any sense—her best friends surrounded her in support, and Adora could not be in a better place if she tried. But Adora did not realize that She-Ra’s magic would never come alive as long as she overthought the love that nurtured her.

Adora finally got a good grip on She-Ra and was close to transforming when Entrapta burst onto the main deck with Wrong Hordak, shouting, “This way!” 

Adora groaned in defeat. Clearly, She-Ra was not coming out anytime soon. She barely acknowledged Entrapta greeting her, opting to ask, “Entrapta, do you have to do that in here?” 

“Yes! This is where the signal is strongest. We’re less than a day out from Etheria; we’ll be in range to send a message to the Rebellion soon!”

Catra barely paid attention to what Glimmer said as she only realized just then how close they were to Etheria. Less than a day already? Catra knew there was no one waiting for her. Everything she had she was sitting on, _literally_. Well, Bow, Glimmer, and Entrapta were not such bad company, but they seemed excited to go back. They never second-guessed whether Etheria was their home or not, but Catra did. Not only that, but Catra already knew that Etheria was not her home—Adora was. Catra was only going back because of her. However, the closer they got to Etheria, the more Catra realized that her days of lounging around carefree were numbered because of who was on Etheria. Scorpia. The Rebellion. Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle. The Horde’s army. Catra did not even know what _happened_ to the Fright Zone since Horde Prime kidnapped her, and truthfully, she was afraid to find out.

Catra stood up and marched to the window sill, where she plopped herself down. She heard Adora approaching, but she did not acknowledge her.

“Ready to be home?” Adora asked with a hopeful smile. She could not even imagine what Catra felt at the moment. Adora knew that Catra wanted to go back to Etheria, but things were different now. Catra had to take accountability for her past actions. She was probably terrified that The Rebellion would not accept her, although Adora already promised herself that she would ensure they accepted Catra. Adora knew Catra had done terrible things, but now that she was on her path to redemption, her emotions must be overwhelming.

“Not really,” Catra said without looking.

Adora looked away, wishing she could take away whatever pain or stress Catra felt.

While Adora was not looking, Catra peeked at her from the corner of her eye. She saw how her answer troubled Adora. Catra was not thrilled about the upcoming events, but she did not want Adora to think that she did not care, or worse—that she did not want to go back with her. “Okay, fine. Maybe.” She said, shooting Adora a small smile.

Adora grinned back, and the two of them looked at the stars that surrounded their ship. They heard Glimmer and Bow approach. None of them moved as they appreciated each other’s presence without saying anything. Not even Entrapta cackling in the background ruined the peaceful moment.

Just a few seconds later, though, Bow decided to break the silence. “What do you think is going on right now on Etheria?” 

But nobody answered. Truthfully, Bow knew he wasted his breath since it had been months since any of them saw the light of Etheria. Horde Prime took control and began chipping people after they left. For all they knew, Etheria was a Horde Prime battleground, armed to the bone. Maybe there was no one left in The Rebellion, especially if Prime chipped everyone. The future was bleak and uncertain, and they barely defeated Prime when they rescued Catra. Could they conquer an entire _planet_ of Horde Prime?

Bow and Glimmer did not know, but they knew that She-Ra would not fail them.

Adora did not know, but she knew that everything would be okay as long as they had each other.

And Catra did not know, but she knew that she was where she should always be, the place that made her feel the strongest and the safest.

Right by Adora’s side.


	21. S05E08 Shot in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Best Friends Squad, Entrapta, and Wrong Hordak travel to Krytis.

“Our friends need us. Magic or no magic, we’re going home.”

Catra was uninterested in Glimmer’s tantrum over not having magic. She wasn’t paying attention to the conversation until she heard the familiarity of Adora's naivety and determination. She fought the urge to roll her eyes, annoyed at Adora’s recklessness. “So your plan is to what? Ram through an armada of ships?”

Adora turned to Catra, unsurprised at her friend’s pessimism. “No! Maybe. We have to try!”

“You heard Perfuma; they’re waiting for us! They’re going to catch us, and if they do…” Catra trailed off. She could not believe what she was about to say. Thank _God_ she caught herself in time because it would have been _humiliating_ if she confessed her feelings in front of everyone.

Catra took a few moments to collect herself. “Take it from someone who’s defeated you guys, like, _a lot_. Charging in without a plan _won’t_ work.”

Adora scoffed in disbelief at Catra's suggestion. Excitement vibrated under Adora’s skin, thinking of how domestic their argument was. “Okay, well, heh, you didn’t _defeat_ us.”

Before Catra and Adora could continue bickering like an old married couple, Bow interrupted. “Adora, Catra’s right.” He paused. “That felt weird to say. We barely made it out last time we tangled with Prime. We need to figure out another way to help our friends.” 

* * *

“Good news. My readings show that the atmosphere is safe!” Entrapta cried, using her hair to take off her helmet.

Adora, Bow, and Glimmer quickly followed suit, but Catra didn’t. She wanted to prove that she could keep her guard up, especially around Adora. Catra would _not_ just do something because someone said it was okay. She was smarter than that, and it was about time she ignored whenever her insides turned to mush. Catra’s heart fluttering in Adora’s presence should not affect her intelligence.

Catra noticed Bow giggling. “What? She’s been wrong before. A lot, actually.”

“If my helmet were that adorable, I’d leave it on, too!” Bow squealed in delight. “Those ears!”

“It is not!” Catra tried to pry off her helmet. She struggled while the others laughed, but Catra succeeded before things spiraled out of control.

Once Catra removed her helmet, she looked at the trio, but she was caught off guard by Adora’s giggling. Adora laughed so hard that tears welled at the corners of her eyes. _God, Catra was an absolute sucker for that laugh._ Any fury Catra felt beforehand melted away when she saw the pure bliss on Adora’s face. Catra smiled, knowing that she could not stay mad at Adora, no matter how hard she tried.

Suddenly, Entrapta shrieked, forcing Catra to drop her helmet. Everyone around her scurried, and the next thing Catra knew, Entrapta threw an earpiece at her. She wasn’t surprised that Adora, Bow, and Glimmer charged ahead, ready to find whatever life source was on Krytis. Moments like these still bewildered Catra; she couldn’t believe how naive they could sometimes be. Sure, they could trust Entrapta, but could they trust this source of life that was supposedly on Krytis? Nobody around here used their brains—they acted with their hearts and gut feelings instead.

At least Catra knew better than that—she knew that was how people got hurt in the first place. “So, wait. The plan is to barge ahead, into the structurally unsound building to find some mystery person that we know nothing about, hoping that they somehow know how to defeat Horde Prime?”

Adora, Bow, and Glimmer confirmed this disastrous plan, but it wasn't like Catra had a choice, anyway. She followed them, muttering to herself. “Honestly, what did I expect?”

“You know, we were just gonna recklessly blast our way through that blockade until you stopped us. So this whole thing is basically your idea,” Bow said.

“Yeah… it’s kind of _your_ mission,” Glimmer said.

“No, it’s not!” Catra exclaimed. There was no way she would take responsibility for this mission, or any mission, for the matter. If something went wrong, if something happened to _Adora_ , she would never forgive herself. Catra could not handle that kind of responsibility, especially since she was still having trouble controlling and processing her emotions.

Bow pulled Catra into an embrace, and Glimmer began chanting, “Catra’s first mission!” all while they squeezed her to death. But being tiny had its advantages, so Catra extricated herself from Bow and Glimmer’s grip by pushing back, hard. However, Catra did not account for falling into Adora’s arms. _Literally._

Catra growled as she walked away. She could not dwell on how her heart skipped several beats just moments before. Catra wouldn’t even be surprised if Adora’s electrifying touch sent her into cardiac arrest one day. “Ugh, I’m going to kill your friends.”

“Please don’t,” Adora called after her.

* * *

Catra really didn’t like this place.

It was dark, dull, and dingy. Horde Prime tore it down pretty good before he left. Despite the chills that crawled down her spine, she wondered what could have driven Prime away. Catra hoped that they would find whatever they were looking for soon, mostly since she felt like they were walking in circles.

Once Catra broke through a wall, the cave was no longer empty—golden flakes swirled around them. Unexpectedly, one of the flakes went up Catra’s nose, and she sneezed.

“Aw! That’s your sneeze?” Bow asked.

“What?”

“It’s just so… _cute_.”

 _Oh, not this again._ Catra would not tolerate her friends fawning over her; it started to get old. “It’s a normal sneeze!”

“I can’t believe _the whole time_ you were trying to kill us; you had the _cutest_ sneeze of all time!”

“I AM NOT CUTE!” Catra exclaimed as her tail spiked in anger.

“The angrier you get, the cuter you are!”

Bow and Catra’s banter amused Adora. She knew Catra wasn’t _really_ angry, even if she pretended to be. Secretly, Adora was thrilled at how well Catra meshed with her friends. Something about their playful banter felt right. Adora never thought that the Best Friends Squad was incomplete, but she could not imagine reducing their group to just her, Bow, and Glimmer. Catra was a part of their squad, and more importantly, Adora and Catra were part of the _same_ group. Adora’s heart swelled at the idea.

Adora broke from her train of thought when Catra screamed. Her stomach dropped when she realized Catra was in trouble—her hand was stuck in the wall. Adora wasted no time; she would _not_ lose Catra to a _wall_ , not after she just got her back. “Catra!” she cried, running toward her.

Adora and Bow latched onto Catra, combining their strength to pull Catra to safety. Once they succeeded, a wave of relief washed over Adora, but it was quickly replaced by anxiety when sharp spikes protruded from the walls.

So, the Best Friends Squad ran for their lives, and Adora held her breath until they jumped through an opening to safety.

* * *

Catra could not find one moment of peace around the Best Friends Squad. She gawked at their recklessness, even as they trudged through the door Entrapta instructed them to go through.

Entrapta spoke through the communication line again, updating the group on her new findings. Catra did not focus until Entrapta asked, “Sorry, what door?”

“What do you mean, _what door_?! The one _you_ told us to go through!”

“That wasn’t me. This is the first time we’ve talked since the last floor.”

Catra registered Entrapta’s words, unbelieving that she was stupid enough to follow this plan. Now, they were most likely trapped and in danger. Catra would not let whatever weird entity that encompassed the cave hurt them, or hurt Adora. She cried hysterically. “I KNEW IT! I knew this was a terrible plan. This place is _weird_ and unnatural, and we need to get out of here before—”

“By the way, who’s your new friend?”

“What are you talking about? It’s just the four of us.”

“Hate to disagree, but there’s a definite heat signature… _right behind you_.”

The four of them slowly turned and saw a dark figure looming less than a foot away. They screamed. Adora, Bow, Glimmer prepared to run, but Catra would not. She knew she was about to be the type of reckless that she scolded her friends for, but in the heat of the moment, all Catra thought of was how powerful this figure was. They sucked Catra’s hand into a concrete rock wall; they shot deadly spikes; they created illusions that Catra’s worst nightmares could not conjure. Catra knew she had to protect Adora, Bow, and Glimmer. She had to save her friends.

Catra screamed and charged, only to get thrown onto the ground below.

“Catra, Catra!” Adora cried into her earpiece. She barely had time to react before Catra lunged at the figure, and now, her heart raced in panic. She didn’t even know _where_ Catra fell through. Was she even in the cave anymore? Adora chastised herself for moving so slowly. 

“Adora, I’m down here!”

Catra didn’t think her heart could beat faster, but it rapidly sped up when the figure enlarged by tens and shifted into a giant monster.

“I’m coming!”

“Hurry,” Catra said, completely shocked.

The creature circled Catra, like a predator ready to devour its prey. She froze, petrified to move. When their jaw hung over her, Catra sneezed.

Catra was bewildered when the creature retreated and transformed into a less terrifying form. She immediately recognized _why_ this creature attacked her—they were _scared_. They were all alone on Krytis until strangers landed and investigated the territory. The animal did what Catra would have done—they put up their defenses and attacked.

Whoever this feline was, Catra saw herself in them. She saw the loneliness and desperation in their eyes. The voidness. She knew what that felt like. So, Catra reached out and gently petted their head.

Meanwhile, Adora, Bow, and Glimmer tumbled out of a magic portal. Adora immediately stood up. Despite the throbbing pain in her head, she was determined to save her friend. “Catra! Hold… on?” 

Catra was petting the creature while they purred.

“Are you… are you petting the thing that’s been trying to kill us?” Adora asked, approaching. 

Catra was so absorbed by her actions that she didn’t even realize her friends found her. She tried her best to stay still while answering Adora. “I’m trying something here if you didn’t notice.”

Once the initial shock wore off, a hand flew to Adora’s mouth. She melted at the scene in front of her. Adora never thought she could fall in love with Catra all over again, but she did. If Adora could be selfish for once in her life, she was positive that she would spend the rest of her days on the isolated planet of Krytis, watching Catra pet magical animals.

But obviously, Adora couldn’t.

“It’s just so… cute!” Bow squealed.

 _Here we go again_ , Catra groaned internally. “IT’S NOT CUTE!”

Catra's shout made the creature growl. She retreated and yelped, taken aback by their sudden change in demeanor.

As soon as that happened, Adora furrowed her brows, her protective instincts kicking in gear. “Get away from her!”

Once Catra observed how fast the creature’s disposition changed, she finally understood how her mood swings affected her friends. Even though she was on good terms with Adora, Bow, and Glimmer, Catra realized that her constant pessimism brought them down. However, if Catra could calm down this creature—a creature who was a reflection of herself—she could learn how to regulate her emotions, especially the negative ones. As reluctant as she was, Catra knew what she had to say, so she blocked Adora’s path. “No, don’t!” Catra took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I got angry. It’s something I’m working on.”

If eyes could be heart-shaped, then Adora’s were at that moment. Catra’s apology touched her—it made her insides grow warm. Catra never ceased to amaze her, and as a result, tears welled in Adora’s eyes. “Aw, you are?”

“Yes! Now can you please…” Catra took another deep breath and folded her hands together. She had to show Adora that she was trying. Catra wiped off any remaining steam from her face, smiling faintly instead. “Yes, I am. I think this thing responds to emotions. So can you not give me a hard time right now?”

“No, sorry, sorry. Do—do your thing.”

As Catra approached the creature once again, she dwelled on Adora’s reaction. Catra found Adora, well, adorable. She could not believe that Bow thought she was cute when Adora was _right there_. Honestly, was he blind? Did he not see what was right in front of him? Catra wondered if that was part of the reason why she was annoyed whenever Bow pointed out how “cute” she was. Maybe she was adorable, but Adora made literal heart eyes. _Come on._ It was apparent who won here.

When Catra was close enough to the creature, she knelt to their eye level. “It’s okay; we won’t hurt you.” She reached out tentatively, which made them feel safe enough to transform into their regular self. After cautiously sniffing Catra’s outstretched hand, they nudged their head under it, causing bright blue beams to reflect across the cavern.

When the cave lit up, Adora thought it was the most natural thing in the world. That was when everything clicked for her—this creature had magical powers. They were physically isolated on Krytis, but they also felt emotionally isolated, having no one else to relate to. Both Adora and Catra knew what that felt like.

Adora knelt next to Catra. The creature growled again, but this time, Adora understood why. “You’re… you’re magic, aren’t you?” The animal hid behind Catra and hissed, but that did not faze Adora. “Me too,” she said as her eyes glowed She-Ra’s shade of blue.

Just as she suspected, the feline simmered once Adora showed her magic. The animal approached her and lovingly rubbed its head against hers. Adora chuckled.

Catra stared at the interaction. She suddenly pictured coming home after a long day and finding Adora pet this animal while they purred. The image in her mind brought such an overwhelming sense of peace to her damaged soul. She already knew Adora was home, but the connection between Adora, Catra, and this creature—Melog—solidified Catra’s vision about family. By that point, Catra knew the Horde was never her family, and Adora always was. However, Melog made them a family. They brought Adora and Catra together in a way Catra couldn’t figure out, but here it was.

As Melog’s story unfolded, Catra knew they were taking them home, but home did not have to be Etheria. Home was with Adora and Catra, and with the Best Friends Squad.

* * *

Catra squeezed her eyes shut. She was terrified to look, but once Darla slowed down, she suspected they crossed through the barrier and into Etheria. Slowly, Catra opened her eyes and gasped. They made it, and Etheria had never looked so beautiful. Catra never thought she would ever crave Etherian skies, but at that moment, she did. Besides, being back on the planet at Adora’s side made everything so much more special.

Catra looked down and noticed that she held Adora’s hand. The entire group squished together when they crossed the barrier, but at some point, Adora and Catra reached for each other. As much as Catra loved the sensation of Adora’s fingers clasped in hers, she had an image to keep up. So, Catra grunted and pulled her hand away, trying to play it off.

But she knew how she felt.

However, Adora did not notice because she was captivated by Etheria. “It… worked. It worked! Ah! MELOG DID IT!”

They all cheered, knowing they were moments away from stepping on Etherian ground. On _their_ ground, on _their_ home planet.

Home.

Suddenly, Glimmer grabbed Catra and smacked a massive kiss on her cheek. “Catra saved the day!”

Bow joined the embrace. “Aw, come here! Best Friends Squad hug!”

While the smallest part of Catra was secretly pleased (and even touched) at officially being dubbed part of the Best Friends Squad, she needed her space. “No, no, absolutely not!” Catra did a great job of pretending to hate what was going on, but truthfully, she had never felt this loved in her entire life.

Adora looked at her friends, smiling. Now that Bow and Glimmer had officially accepted Catra as a member of their squad, Adora felt they had found the last missing piece of their puzzle. She hoped that piece would be Catra, and Adora was glad her wish came true.

Finally, Darla landed. Adora, Bow, Catra, and Glimmer stared in awe as the ship’s doors opened.

“We made it,” Adora said, beaming. “We’re home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to ell for reviewing this, as always. come hang out on [tumblr](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)!


	22. S05E09 An Ill Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra separate for the first time since Catra's rescue.

_Keep them safe, okay?_

As Adora walked away with Bow, Glimmer, and Wrong Hordak, her words echoed in her mind. Of course, she kept a sharp eye out for anything suspicious while paying attention to the conversation between her and her friends, but she was also nervous about splitting from Catra.

This was the first time Adora and Catra were separated since Adora rescued Catra, other than the brief moments they spent apart when they initially confronted Melog. Adora was worried about her friend. She was concerned about a lot of things, but Catra got to her nerves the most. They were not used to being separated from each other, so Adora was on edge. Could anyone blame her for being more worried about Catra when Catra was so important to her?

Adora didn’t mean to sound desperate when she pleaded with Melog, but she always wanted to protect her friends. She knew Catra was strong and resourceful—after all, they used to fight on opposite sides. Furthermore, Adora made her decision critically—she purposely split the group the way she did because that was how they worked best, even if Catra insisted she worked best alone. And Catra never needed magic. She almost conquered Etheria without it, but it didn’t hurt to have Melog as a backup, just in case.

Adora knew it was useless to dwell on Catra, even though she was still scared of leaving her. However, the only thing Adora could do was focus on the mission, pray that Melog was enough to protect Catra and Entrapta, and hope for the best.

* * *

Catra was quiet while she listened to Entrapta ramble about the samples. She sat with Melog on a tree branch until they heard a commotion. Catra gasped in surprise and turned toward the noise, noticing traces of a cloudy purple substance. Catra would recognize that anywhere—princess magic. “Found them.”

Catra and Melog leaped from the tree, and Entrapta joined them. They approached the town square, where the commotion’s source was to see what was going on. This time, Catra gasped in horror when she realized Adora, Bow, and Glimmer were spinning in a purple tornado at a chipped princess's hands. _Her friends._

“That’s the windy one, right? Isn’t she with us?” Entrapta asked nervously.

“Not anymore,” Catra said, attempting to conceal the emotion in her voice. She couldn’t just sit there and watch the princess attack her friends. She didn’t care for any princess, to begin with, especially if she did not know them. Of course, Adora was the exception, but lately, Catra started making room for more exceptions in her life. Like Glimmer. Or Entrapta. Maybe even the remaining princesses that were not chipped by Horde Prime. Catra just couldn’t let her friends die, or worse—get chipped by Horde Prime. Catra shivered, remembering how empty she felt while she was a mindless soldier and the traumatic nightmares that followed the experience. Even though her chip was long gone, she still got them sometimes. She could not let that happen to Adora, Bow, or Glimmer.

Typically, if her friends were in grave peril, Catra would charge in without a plan (no matter how much she insisted that she was not like her friends), but this was different. Neither Adora nor Glimmer had a hold on their magical powers, which left them with Melog. Melog’s magic encompassed a wide range of categories, but Catra needed to figure out how Melog could rescue them from the magical storm.

Luckily, before Catra thought of anything else, Glimmer grabbed onto Adora and Bow and teleported them out of the tornado and into the alley that she, Entrapta, and Melog were in. Catra’s heart rate slowed down once her friends made it to safety. She was about to ask Adora if she was okay since the heartbreak written across her friend’s face was alarming, but Adora spoke first.

“Prime did it. How… how are we supposed to fight our own friends?”

Catra scoffed, ignoring how hurt she was by that statement. “It never stopped you before.”

Shame bubbled inside of Adora once she realized what she said. She was about to explain herself, but unfortunately, Spinnerella found their hiding spot and shot a strong wave of purple magic toward them.

A whirlwind of events followed the purple blast, and the next thing Adora and Catra knew, Glimmer teleported them out of Erelandia and into the Whispering Woods.

* * *

Catra felt a zillion things at once.

So many thoughts went through her head, and she didn’t even know where to start. There were remnants from the physical pain of Netossa pinning her to the tree and abruptly freeing her, causing Catra to faceplant into the ground. There was the news that Scorpia was one of the princesses chipped by Horde Prime. Most of the princesses seemed to be chipped, according to Netossa, so things did not look good.

And then there was what Adora had said earlier, right before Spinnerella found them. _How are we supposed to fight our own friends?_ The words shocked Catra to her core, and goosebumps rose on her skin. Once the initial shock wore off, she felt angry, but this time, she wasn’t mad at Adora—she was mad at _herself_. Catra was a fool to believe she mattered to Adora the same way Adora mattered to her. Adora never hesitated to fight Catra once she left her for The Rebellion, and suddenly, she felt conflicted about fighting chipped princesses? Catra was infuriated because she thought things had changed. Maybe she did mean something to Adora, but not as much as Adora meant to her. Catra was sure she could never love anyone how she loved Adora, but she had to step back and stop allowing her feelings to control her actions. She was becoming a person she swore she would never be, and Catra wouldn’t change now.

“Horde Prime tore our home apart. He took our friends; he’s not gonna stop until he’s taken everything from us.”

Adora’s words prompted Catra to grip the back of her neck, once again remembering what it felt like to be under Horde Prime’s control. Although Catra would be more careful with her feelings moving forward, Adora’s words reminded her that there _was_ a bigger picture here—Horde Prime. Catra swore to herself she would never be chipped again, and that she would always control her freedom. The only way to guarantee that was to ensure they stopped Horde Prime before he took anything else away.

Besides, if Adora’s statement didn’t affect Catra, then Glimmer’s speech did. “Netossa… I’m sorry. We should’ve been there. But we’re here now, and we’re _not_ giving up. We’ve never faced greater odds than this. But for everything Prime has thrown at us, he still hasn’t managed to stop us! We’re going back for Spinnerella _and_ for the people of Erelandia, and to show Prime that Etheria’s not done fighting yet! We’ll need everyone’s help to pull this off. So?”

Catra felt Glimmer’s fire run through her veins. It felt unstoppable, like a fueling flame unable to burn out. Catra knew she could never rejoin Prime, not after the hell she endured. Maybe Adora didn’t love her the same way, but Adora did care to a certain extent, and now, there was Melog. Glimmer and Bow. Entrapta. Maybe even Scorpia, once they got her back. Catra _wanted_ to be a part of this fight, although the initial thought scared her. _Is this is what it felt like to be part of The Rebellion?_ She didn’t know being a member of a big movement like this could invoke such a powerful energy. Nothing compared to what this felt like, even when she was in command at the Horde. This was more than that—The Rebellion made her feel like she had a family.

So, when it was Catra's turn to chime in, she stood up, smiling. “Sure, why not? I have some experience taking out princesses.”

Without even hesitating, Catra joined the hand-stack.

* * *

They had been fighting for some time when Catra knew they had to split up again. She looked at Netossa and Adora while reveling in the adrenaline that pumped her body. “You go deal with Spinnerella; we’ll take care of the bots.”

“Be careful,” Adora said. She knew she could never tell Catra how she felt since that would be incredibly selfish of her (after all, Etheria depended on _She-Ra_ ). Still, Adora's warning was the closest thing to a confession she could give Catra.

Catra snorted. “Always am.”

Adora watched Catra go and turned away when she heard a villager’s desperate cries. She was horrified at who it was. “The shopkeeper! No wonder she didn’t trust us.”

“Adora, what if… she can’t come back from this?”

Adora saw the vulnerability in Netossa’s eyes and her fear of losing Spinnerella to the chip. Adora certainly had experience in Netossa’s shoes. Netossa reminded Adora of rescuing Catra from Horde Prime. Catra, who was strong and beautiful and brave, who would _never_ heed to anyone’s control, was still compromised under Prime’s command. Spinnerella was no Catra, but Adora knew anyone could fight the chip, especially someone as strong and independent as Spinnerella. “She’s still in there. She needs you to remind her who she is. And we need to remind Prime who we are.”

_“For the honor of Grayskull!”_

* * *

Catra watched everyone embrace and reunite with their friends. She knew why she deserved to be an outcast, but it still hurt, especially after what Adora said earlier. And now, Melog observed Catra’s sadness, which made her feel even worse. She hated dragging Melog down with her.

Adora turned and saw Catra and Melog standing like they were out of place. Well, maybe Catra thought they were, but Adora didn’t. Instead, Adora saw a new friend that needed to be introduced to everyone in The Rebellion. Despite Catra looking heartbroken, Adora was determined to include her. After all, she was part of their family now. “Hey, come here. It’s time for you to officially meet everyone.”

Catra felt familiar whispers of hope inside her. “You sure?”

However, before Adora could answer, Frosta punched Catra’s face with magical ice fists, causing Catra to fly face-first into the ground. She groaned in pain, but it was because of shock rather than any actual damage. Catra stood up, rubbing her cheek. “Are you serious?!”

“Deadly serious, Horde scum!”

Adora swiftly stood in between them before Frosta could inflict any real injuries on Catra. She should have expected this from the princesses, and she silently scolded herself for being so naive. “Frosta! It’s—it’s a long story, but… Catra’s with us now, okay?”

“Ugh, fine! But I still don’t like her face.”

“She can live with that,” Adora said, shooting Catra a glance as she helped her up.

Adora thought she would have to convince Catra to agree because Catra usually made a big stink out of old bygones, but Catra didn’t want to make big stinks about trivial stuff anymore. She could live with Frosta not liking her face, as long as that meant Catra had a home with The Rebellion.


	23. S05E10 Return to the Fright Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra go back to the Fright Zon

“If Scorpia went back to the Fright Zone, that _has_ to mean something. There’s probably a part of her that remembers it’s her home!”

Catra was offended that anyone could even _suggest_ that. “That pile of junk isn’t anyone’s home.”

“Scorpia _saved_ me. She stayed behind, so the rest of us could escape the Enchanted Grotto. If anyone can resist Horde Prime’s programming, it’s Scorpia! Her heart’s too strong. She’d never hurt her friends.”

“Yeah, she’s not great at standing up to authority figures, trust me.” Catra looked away at the end of her statement, hating every single word she said. Her crippling guilt resurfaced as a cruel reminder of how she treated Scorpia when she had no one else.

“Your negative vibes aren’t appreciated here, Catra.”

“Look, all that matters is the chip. Going for the back of the neck is how we take out Prime’s clones. And the _only_ reason that Adora, you know, saved me or whatever, is because the chip got damaged first. That’s how we free them.”

Catra was too busy dealing with Perfuma’s annoying optimism to notice that Adora smiled when Catra mentioned the rescue mission. Adora was oddly touched. It took a lot for Catra to give someone else credit, but Catra acknowledged Adora’s heroism in front of other people. In front of _princesses_. Adora knew it was not easy for Catra, and it made Adora love her more than she thought she could.

“You think you _know_ how to save Scorpia better than I do? I know all about how you treated her back in the Horde. Things are different now. Scorpia knows the kindness of a true friend.”

Perfuma’s words stabbed Catra’s heart. She knew that she treated Scorpia terribly, and she was still haunted by the memories every day since Scorpia left the Horde. Scorpia, a loyal and faithful friend, gave Catra many chances, and Catra just blew them all. Catra could have asked Scorpia anything, and Scorpia would have delivered without hesitating because that was who she was. Catra knew that and used it to her advantage in the worst way possible. She was not even sure Scorpia would forgive her. After all, Catra hurt a lot of people, but she probably hurt Scorpia the most.

Perfuma sighed and walked away after scolding Catra. Of course, Catra knew she deserved every last bit of Perfuma’s anger, and Melog meowing in defeat did not make her feel any better.

After Adora finished reviewing the plan to enter the Fright Zone, she noticed that Catra was still sulking in the corner, even though Adora emphasized how important she was. After a few moments, Adora caught Catra’s gaze, and once their eyes locked, Adora gave Catra the most comforting and loving smile she could.

Catra’s heart melted when Adora smiled, making her weak in the knees. Catra understood what Adora was doing—she communicated several things at once through a glance. _You’ve come a long way. You’re wanted here. You’re needed here. Scorpia will forgive you, just like the rest of us did. You’re a good person, Catra._

Catra nodded as a way of thanking her friend, and then she sighed. Leave it to Adora to always know how to make someone feel better. Adora didn’t just make Catra feel better, but she also gave Catra a home. Even if Adora never loved her back, Catra knew she had a place in The Rebellion. If Adora and the other princesses could forgive her, then maybe Scorpia would, too.

* * *

Chills crawled down Catra’s spine the second she entered the Fright Zone with Adora, Melog, Netossa, and Perfuma. This was the first time Catra was back since her epic fight with Hordak and capture by Horde Prime. Catra thought she would feel a broad array of emotions when returning to the Fright Zone, but she was surprised when she felt nothing. Just as Catra said earlier, the place truly was a pile of junk, incapable of being anyone’s home. Before Adora left the Horde, the Fright Zone was never her home—Adora was. No wonder Catra went off the rails after she left—anyone would descend into a downward spiral if they were homeless.

“It’s weird, isn’t it? Being back. So many memories here,” Adora said.

“Most of them bad,” Catra added. With Adora by her side, a new movie reel of memories flashed through her mind. _Running through corridors. Whispering and giggling all day long. Playing tricks on their other team members. Training together._ Every moment Catra thought of felt like it occurred just yesterday, and Adora had left the Horde that morning. 

But Catra refused to dwell any longer. She saw Adora frown, and Catra wanted to wipe any awful memory from Adora’s mind. An idea sparked in her brain, and she smiled. “Hey, bet I could still beat you to the forge.”

“Uh, because you always cheat!”

So, Adora and Catra took off and raced one another, laughing the whole way, while Melog covered them. It almost felt like time rewound, and they were back in the Fright Zone together, training to be a Horde soldier, blissfully unaware of anything but their plans to rule Etheria side by side.

Almost. 

* * *

Adora could not stop thinking about Catra. She didn’t care that Horde Prime magically appeared on Etheria and trapped Perfuma and herself—Adora just wanted to make sure Catra was safe. She had no idea where Catra landed after Scorpia threw her, but Adora prayed that it was far enough away from this mess. She also hoped that Melog reached Catra in time before any other chipped princess caught her, like Mermista.

Adora thought she would defeat Scorpia and find Catra, but after one hard hit from Scorpia, she lost control of her magic. _She lost control of She-Ra._ Now, she was at Prime’s mercy, discovering that he might not need She-Ra to access the Heart of Etheria. Adora may have genuinely lost to Horde Prime.

“It is over, Adora. You will not be able to stop me. As always, your childish fixation on saving your friends has distracted you. It has made you vulnerable, _weak_.”

“You’re wrong. There’s power, _real power_ , in love, joy, and friendship,” Perfuma spoke with tears in her eyes. Adora never thought about it before, but she realized Netossa was wrong about Perfuma. Perfuma didn’t need to be stronger because she was already strong. Maybe even one of the strongest princesses in The Rebellion. After all, Perfuma was right—it was Adora’s love that saved Catra from Horde Prime. She-Ra’s magic would have never returned if it did not establish a foundation based on love. Catra’s heartbreak over Adora’s abandonment fueled her desire to conquer Etheria. Before Adora left, they had wanted to rule Etheria _together_ , but none of it meant anything if they didn’t have each other.

“And what could you possibly know about _real_ power?” Horde Prime asked.

“Friendship isn’t a weakness; it’s my _greatest_ strength, and it’s Scorpia’s, too!”

“I’ve heard enough. End this, now,” Horde Prime said to Scorpia. Then, he turned and walked away.

Adora’s heart raced faster as Scorpia approached them. Whatever Perfuma said to Scorpia was a bunch of jumbled words to Adora because she felt like she was underwater, unable to hear anything. Adora focused on was the glowing red magic from Scorpia’s pincers. The brighter Scorpia’s pincers became, the less time Adora had.

_This is the end_ , Adora thought, closing her eyes and bracing herself for impact. _And I didn’t even tell Catra how I feel._

* * *

Now that everyone had returned to The Rebellion’s hideout, Catra felt like she could breathe again. She watched as Netossa and Adora hugged Spinnerella, who was back on their side since Netossa successfully damaged her chip.

Suddenly, Melog meowed, nudging Catra to look in the other direction. She saw Perfuma meditating, and Catra realized she had to talk to her. She was not keen on interrupting Perfuma’s meditation (it seemed like it was a beloved hobby), but Catra wanted to say something before losing her nerve. “So, I heard Scorpia dropped a beam on you.”

“Scorpia missed.” Perfuma turned to Catra. “She missed on purpose.”

“How do you know?”

“I know because I believe in Scorpia.”

“I hope you’re right,” Catra said. She sat down on a box near Perfuma, relieved that Scorpia found someone with a heart as big as hers. Scorpia deserved unconditional love and friendship, something Catra never gave her, and Perfuma seemed like the perfect person. “Scorpia’s really lucky to have a friend like you.”

Perfuma gasped, recognizing that Catra was remorseful over her ill-treatment of Scorpia. She stood up and put her hands on Catra’s shoulders. “It’s hard, keeping your heart open. It makes you vulnerable, but it doesn’t make you weak, and I have to believe it’s worth it.”

Perfuma glanced behind Catra, which also prompted her to look. Catra was shocked to see Adora standing there, not because of her unexpected presence, but because of what Perfuma implied. _Perfuma knew?_

Of course, she knew—it was _Perfuma_. Perfuma always preached about the value of love and friendship, and she was obviously good at observing people’s feelings. Initially, Catra felt uncomfortable that Perfuma instinctively knew—after all, Perfuma said Catra had trouble keeping her heart open. But then, she relaxed, realizing Perfuma would not push Catra to talk about her feelings. Perfuma simply suggested that she was there if she ever needed anything. Catra was sure Perfuma thought that if she opened up to Adora, then Adora would return her feelings. The prospect touched Catra. It made her realize that Perfuma was rooting for Adora and Catra to be together, even if Catra knew better. Still, it was nice to witness someone else’s optimism on Catra’s greatest wish. 

Besides, Catra had a feeling that Perfuma might be harboring feelings for Scorpia, so if anything, Perfuma understood. Catra knew that Perfuma wouldn’t tell anyone and wouldn’t force Catra to do anything, so she could still wallow over Adora in peace.

For now, anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you ell, and come hang out on [tumblr](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)!


	24. S05E11 Failsafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra go to Mystacor, and Adora pays the ultimate price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the longest drabble of the collection because there's just _so much_ that happens. but also 5x13.

Adora felt terrible when she saw Catra curled on her side on the mattress. She looked small and vulnerable, like something drained all the strength she had. Adora walked over to Catra, determined to bring her to Mystacor. She wanted to ensure that Catra felt valued and wanted because she was. Adora had no idea what she would have done if Catra wasn’t by her side this entire time. Making Catra feel loved and secure gave Adora a renewed energy, energy that she channeled to fight Horde Prime. “Catra, are you coming with us to Mystacor?”

“Why would I do that? Seems like you and Shadow Weaver have it _handled_ ,” Catra sighed. “After everything she’s done to us, you’re really going to follow her?”

Adora’s heart broke at the betrayal in Catra’s voice. The last thing she wanted was for Catra to think she wanted Shadow Weaver around. “I don’t like it either, but this is the only plan we have; the failsafe could finally save Etheria.”

Catra turned on her other side, away from Adora.

Catra’s action stung, but Adora would not leave her behind just because of _Shadow Weaver_. Adora would never forgive their former abuser for what she did to both Catra and herself. Adora promised she would not let anyone hurt Catra again, including Shadow Weaver, of all people. Nothing would stop Adora from protecting Catra against Shadow Weaver. “Shadow Weaver hurt us; I haven’t forgotten that. But Prime is hurting so many more people. I need to stop him, Catra.”

“I know, I know. You have to go save the world, spare me the speech.”

“Hey, she can’t do anything to us anymore. Please come. We…” Adora took a deep breath and put her hand on Catra’s shoulder. Catra needed to know how important she was to Adora, and frankly, Adora wouldn’t mind reminding her every day for the rest of their lives. “I could really use your help.”

“Fine. I’m only doing this to make sure Shadow Weaver doesn’t try anything. Not because I like you,” Catra said, grinning.

Although Catra was still looking the other way, Adora smiled back. She knew Catra was just joking, and it made her heart swell. They had a long way to go to defeat Prime, but Adora was happy to see that Catra was slowly overcoming past trauma. She wanted to help her friend in any way she could.

Suddenly, Melog jumped on Adora, making her squeal in surprise. Melog purred in response, while Catra looked stared. Catra was so in love with her best friend that she would chastise herself if she knew of the sappy smile she wore on her face. However, as usual, Catra lost all concept of time and space whenever Adora's ethereal presence mesmerized her. 

* * *

“Don’t touch me!” Catra shouted, jumping away from Shadow Weaver.

Catra didn’t mean to cause a scene, but the second Shadow Weaver laid a hand on her, she freaked out. Catra wouldn’t admit it to anyone, except maybe for Adora (although Catra was sure that Adora knew already), but Shadow Weaver still scared her. Her former abuser _grabbed_ her out of nowhere. How could she not react?

Unfortunately, Melog growled at Shadow Weaver, instinctively going into protection mode, releasing the invisible shield they held on the group.

Once they became visible, Adora gasped, noticing a chipped sorceress at the center of the room. Catra and Melog dived out of the way just in time, but it was enough to trigger Adora’s fight or flight instinct. She didn’t even know if she _had_ that instinct until she began having trouble transforming into She-Ra. Hopefully, this time, she wouldn't.

“For the honor of Grayskull!”

But other than a brief flickering of a sword, nothing happened. Adora gasped again, realizing that she had to choose flight. The sorceress spun a magic spell and aimed at Adora, forcing her to jump behind the pillar that Catra and Melog hid behind.

The group moved quickly after that, but it did not stop Adora from feeling like she failed to protect Catra, and it did not stop Catra from shivering because of how Shadow Weaver’s cold hands felt on her skin. 

* * *

The strike team followed Shadow Weaver and Castaspella into a secret hallway, where the tunnels of Mystacor were hidden.

Catra crossed her arms and walked, attempting to fight insecurities that Shadow Weaver sprung into her mind.

Adora noticed Catra’s jitteriness and how she distanced herself from everyone else. Adora was still upset that she couldn’t protect Catra, but it wasn’t just about the sorceress. Adora wished she could protect Catra from dark memories, the trauma inflicted on Catra by Shadow Weaver. “Hey, are you…” Adora began, reaching out for Catra.

As soon as Adora touched her shoulder, Catra instinctively recoiled, thinking it was Shadow Weaver. She was a little queasy being near anyone at the moment, but Adora was always an exception. However, Catra didn’t want to burden Adora with her baggage, so before Adora even finished her question, Catra looked away and curtly said, “I’m fine.”

Adora gently placed her hands on Catra’s shoulders and smiled. With her inability to transform into She-Ra, and Shadow Weaver lurking about, the only thing Adora could do was comfort her friend. “Catra, it’ll be okay. Trust me.”

Catra didn’t say anything, but her eyes filled with hope. She wanted to trust Adora—in fact, she did. The two of them have come a long way over the last three years. But no matter how hard Adora tried, she couldn’t comfort Catra’s trauma away.

But Catra was appreciative of Adora’s effort. She was about to respond, but Shadow Weaver unpleasantly interrupted their moment. “There’s no time to waste. News of our presence will have reached the others by now after that… _disturbance_ ,” Shadow Weaver said, looking pointedly at Catra.

Catra glared, but she held her ground. She would _not_ appear weak in front of the person who tormented her for years, no matter how scared she was inside. Hopefully, Shadow Weaver couldn’t hear her heartbeat’s rapid pace.

Adora did not want Shadow Weaver to start trouble, especially since she always tried to push people’s buttons. Adora stepped in front of Catra and firmly said, “Come on, we have to keep moving.”

Adora walked ahead, so she missed Shadow Weaver and Catra glancing at each other, but it was anything but amicable. After a moment, Shadow Weaver walked away, and Catra’s heart rate finally slowed down, despite the fury that still brewed inside of her. However, there was nothing else she could do, so Catra followed the group. As always, she remained on guard for herself and her heart. 

* * *

The group finally descended into Mystacor’s tunnels.

Adora led the pack. She wanted to reach the failsafe and get out of there without any more trouble. She stepped forward just as Shadow Weaver cried, “Wait!”

However, as soon as Adora put her foot down, a circle of flames illuminated around her.

“Adora!” Catra cried, jumping into the fire without thinking. If a past version of Catra saw her desperation when she hurled herself into the flames, past Catra would be horrified. Her present self acted rashly and without thinking, and most importantly, without any plan. It was so unlike her.

However, past Catra had not endured everything that her present self had. Catra was running on so many stakes, and she had been for a long time now. Thinking was hardly an option, mostly if Adora’s life was on the line, and the stakes just kept rising. The longer Horde Prime went undefeated, the more Catra didn’t think they would beat him, and Catra’s priority was Adora’s safety. Nobody else (except for Bow and Glimmer) would look out for Adora, not even Adora herself. The prospect of Adora dying from some dumb fire was _not_ an option. Catra had to get her back.

Catra successfully pulled Adora out of the fire, and they tumbled onto the ground on top of each other.

“I’m okay. I’m okay!” Adora insisted.

Catra unknowingly gazed down at Adora. So what if everyone else stared? Okay, it was a big deal if people looked, but Catra thought Adora would _die_. Was it so awful to give herself a few moments to revel in the love of her life’s existence?

Adora didn’t move from underneath Catra. Instead, she smirked. “Did you just jump into fire for me?”

Okay, the moment was officially over. Adora was alive, and there was no reason for Catra to lay on top of her, especially since everyone was watching. “What? No! Shut up!” She said, pushing Adora away.

But Adora couldn’t stop laughing. In fact, she snorted. “You did.”

_God, Catra was so in love._

* * *

“I see you and Catra are close again.”

Adora glanced sideways at Shadow Weaver, who lingered behind everyone else, waiting for Adora to catch up. Instead of responding, Adora chose to keep walking.

“Do you really think that’s wise?”

Adora stopped and turned to Shadow Weaver. How _dare_ she try and tell Adora what to do about Catra? This woman already did enough damage to both of them, and she always made things worse by involving herself. This time, Adora was going to make sure Shadow Weaver stayed out of her personal life. “It’s none of your business.”

“But it is,” Shadow Weaver said, approaching Adora. “If your emotions are blocking you from becoming She-Ra, it’s all of Etheria’s business.”

Adora’s eyes widened. She hadn’t realized how selfish she might have become now that she was also focused on Catra. Adora loved Catra with all her heart, more than anyone in the world, but Etheria needed _She-Ra_ to defeat Horde Prime, even if Catra needed Adora more.

“How long has it been since you were able to transform?” Shadow Weaver asked.

Adora sighed and looked down in defeat. “It’s been happening ever since the Fright Zone.” She felt her body shake as tears welled in her eyes. “What if… what if I’m losing her?”

Shadow Weaver covered Adora’s hands with her own. “She-Ra is a being of pure magic. To unleash her full strength, you must be focused, _clearheaded_. But you are letting your emotions pull you in too many directions; Catra, she… _distracts_ you, _confuses_ you. Haven’t you hurt each other enough?”

Adora gasped. It never occurred to her that she could hurt Catra by being powerless. Adora thought of earlier when she was forced to duck behind a pillar because she couldn’t transform into She-Ra. She felt useless without her magic, but more importantly, Adora felt like a failure because _she couldn’t protect Catra_.

“If you care about her, focus on protecting her; the world needs you as She-Ra right now, not Adora. And if She-Ra can’t stop Prime… then we are all doomed.”

Adora angrily pulled away from Shadow Weaver’s grasp. She hadn’t realized that she allowed Shadow Weaver to manipulate her once again, _and_ at Catra’s expense. Adora had to be more careful; otherwise, she might hurt the person she loved most. “I _will_ stop Prime. _No matter what_.”

Adora was relieved she recognized Shadow Weaver’s manipulation before things got out of hand. She could only imagine what would happen if Shadow Weaver’s words infiltrated her head. They might have destroyed Adora and Catra’s relationship for _good_. Thankfully, that didn’t happen.

Unfortunately, Adora did not know that someone was eavesdropping just around the corner and that someone happened to be Catra. 

* * *

To say that Catra’s emotions were running high was the understatement of the century.

After overhearing Shadow Weaver and Adora’s conversation minutes earlier, she had no idea what to think. Nothing Adora said surprised Catra—Adora’s priority would _always_ be saving Etheria, even if the price was Adora’s happiness.

But at the same time, a glimmer of hope sparkled inside Catra. She didn’t want to think stupidly, but she heard Adora stand up to Shadow Weaver. Adora wasn’t interested in following Shadow Weaver’s advice. Maybe, just maybe, Adora loved Catra enough (even if it was platonically) to choose her over Etheria. Still, Catra shivered, thinking of Adora _listening_ to Shadow Weaver. Of Adora deciding that Catra wasn’t worth it. The insecurities that stirred inside Catra didn’t make her confident that Adora would choose her, either.

“Someone needs to go inside and… accept the Failsafe? What does that mean?”

“It means the failsafe must be bonded to a willing soul and carried to the Heart of Etheria in their body to be deployed.” Shadow Weaver’s words sent chills down Catra’s spine. Something about that didn’t seem right. Shadow Weaver made the task sound simple despite the considerable risk, and Catra was sure there was more to the story.

“And we’re sure that’s… safe?” Bow asked skeptically.

“We can’t turn back now; the Failsafe is within our grasp!”

Catra was horrified to see Adora mindlessly approach the Failsafe. Of course, Adora didn’t think about the consequences of the situation, but Catra did. There was something off about Shadow Weaver’s desperation, and it made Catra’s stomach curdle.

After a split-second decision, Catra lunged toward Adora, grabbing her arm. “Adora, don’t go in there.”

“Catra, this is not the time; someone must take the Failsafe.”

“So, you do it then.” Catra’s suspicions about Shadow Weaver lying only grew with the deafening silence. “I’ve been watching you the whole way in,” Catra began, pulling Adora away from the Failsafe. “You’ve been in here before, haven’t you? You could’ve taken the Failsafe yourself and gotten all of the power you’ve ever wanted. _But you didn’t_. Why?”

“You’re being paranoid. This is the only way to stop Prime; Adora understands that well enough.”

Catra blocked Shadow Weaver from approaching Adora. There was no way she would let Shadow Weaver anywhere near Adora until Catra learned the truth, even if that meant Shadow Weaver would attack her. “Why does it have to be Adora? What is going to happen to her? _What aren’t you telling us_?”

Shadow Weaver backed away without answering. The longer Shadow Weaver remained silent, the more nervous Catra became. If it weren’t bad, then Shadow Weaver would have no problem coming clean. However, now her cover was blown, and she was _still_ trying to conceal it. Whatever Shadow Weaver was hiding was not good at all.

“Answer the question,” Castaspella demanded, while Melog growled.

“Whoever uses the Failsafe must absorb the full magic of the Heart when it is destroyed. That much _raw_ magical power would burn any mere mortal apart. None of us are strong enough.”

“But She-Ra is.”

Catra turned when Adora uttered those words. Catra wouldn’t let Shadow Weaver manipulate Adora into doing this. The Failsafe could still burn She-Ra, and Catra was unwilling to risk Adora’s life, even if it cost Etheria.

“Only She-Ra can hope to survive the process; no one else can do it.”

“And if I don’t survive it?”

“Then the magic will be restored to Etheria through your sacrifice. You will give us the power to bring us to victory. Prime will be defeated; your friends will be free.”

Catra was sickened by the way Shadow Weaver held Adora’s face. It was another manipulative tactic, but Catra would not let Shadow Weaver win. She would not allow Adora to sacrifice herself for _Shadow Weaver_ ; it wasn’t an option. Catra gasped as she watched Adora seriously contemplate this garbage.

All at once, everyone began shouting, their arguments becoming static noise in Adora’s head. She couldn’t think clearly when everyone attacked each other, but she had a feeling that it didn’t matter, anyway. She knew what she was going to do the minute Shadow Weaver revealed the truth. “Stop it!” Adora screamed, effectively silencing everyone. She turned to her friends. “I’ll do it.”

Adora’s impending decision weighed heavily on Catra’s heart as she realized the consequences of whatever her friend decided. If Catra convinced Adora to turn away from the Failsafe, Adora valued her own life and happiness just as much as she valued saving Etheria. But if she didn’t, then Catra knew Adora would never choose Catra over sacrificing herself, even if she loved her. Catra wasn’t sure what was worse: Adora not loving her back, or Adora loving her but not enough to _live_.

“No! What? What’s wrong with you?!” Catra ran to Adora, desperately pulling on her lapels once she was close enough. “Shadow Weaver is sacrificing you, why can’t you see that?!”

“Because even if she is, it’s better than Prime getting the Heart and destroying the universe! We’re out of options. This is the only way.”

Catra trembled at Adora’s words, but her friend steadied her. _She always had_ , Catra thought bittersweetly. _Adora was always a calming, peaceful presence in whatever chaos that surrounded me. My life is meaningless without her._

Just then, Micah and a few sorcerers burst into the room and attacked the group. Micah aimed at Adora, and Catra helplessly watched as Adora threw her out of harm’s way just as Micah trapped Adora in magical rope.

“Adora!” Catra cried as she raced on Melog’s back, desperate to free her friend. Soon enough, both Catra and Melog were swept into battle.

Adora watched her friends fight the sorcerers, crying out in horror as Glimmer’s father attacked his own daughter. She didn’t believe she could transform into She-Ra, but she had to try. “For the honor of Grayskull!” Adora cried to no avail. “No,” she whispered to herself.

“We have to get out of here!” Bow shouted.

“The Failsafe! We can’t!” Shadow Weaver cried desperately.

Adora had moments to decide what to do, but she had already made her choice. She turned back and headed to the Failsafe.

Catra was busy fighting, but she saw Adora approach the Failsafe from the corner of her eye. “Adora, no! Please, it doesn’t always have to be _you_.”

Adora looked at Catra one more time, silently communicating her goodbyes. Once she had the Failsafe, Adora would seal her destiny, effectively erasing any chance of a future with Catra. Then, she ran toward the Failsafe before she changed her mind.

“Adora!” Catra wailed, attempting to run after her. However, a sorcerer zapped her back, causing Catra to fall. She was too late.

Adora screamed in agony as she absorbed the Failsafe. She looked toward her friends, horrified to see that Micah tethered them to the ground with dark magic. Now, Adora was far past anger. She wouldn’t let anyone under Prime hurt her friends anymore.

_“For the honor of Grayskull.”_

For the first time in a while, Adora transformed into She-Ra. She immediately freed her friends from Micah’s magic and used her own to trap him and the other sorcerers. Then, she ran toward Catra. “I’ve got it, I’ve got the failsafe, let’s get out of here.”

Catra stared at the magical object in Adora’s chest with tears in her eyes. She felt hurt, betrayed, and angry. What was the point of jumping through fire for Adora if she would kill herself anyway? She would never do the same for Catra, but she would sacrifice herself for Etheria without a second thought. Catra should have known better, but Adora’s choice was the final straw. She couldn’t hang around and watch the love of her life _die_.

So, Catra ran out of the room with Melog by her side, attempting to distance herself from Adora as much as she could.

* * *

Later that evening, everyone had succumbed to sleep from the exhausting day they had. Well, almost everyone.

Catra sat on a box next to her mattress as she watched Adora sleep, the Failsafe plugged into her chest. God, Catra hated looking at that thing. It was a cruel reminder that Adora would never choose her in any scenario, no matter what happened.

Catra hopped off the box and grabbed the backpack she prepared earlier. Then, she left without hesitating or looking back. She paused for a moment when she heard Melog’s cries, but Catra knew she couldn’t stay. It hurt too much, knowing that she would never be enough for Adora. It would hurt for the rest of her life, but maybe the pain would numb if she was hundreds of miles away from Adora.

Moments later, Adora woke up. Instinctively, she looked over at Catra’s mattress, but it was empty. Adora didn’t see Catra or Melog. “Catra,” she gasped, frantic with worry.

Outside of The Rebellion’s hideout, Catra walked with a purpose. Melog hadn’t stopped meowing, but Catra ignored them. She was determined to travel as far away as possible.

Unfortunately, Catra didn’t make it far enough before Adora called her. “Catra?”

Catra broke into a sprint, figuring it would be easier to run than face her feelings head-on. Melog followed.

“Catra, stop!” Adora shouted, going after her.

Catra realized that Adora would catch up, so she jumped onto a tree branch. Unfortunately, Adora caught up by then, and she pulled Catra to the ground.

Catra tried crawling away, but Adora latched onto her leg and dragged Catra underneath her. “You were just gonna leave?!”

“I’m doing you a favor,” Catra said, pushing Adora off. “I’m a distraction, right? Now, you can go save the world without having to worry about me _confusing_ you.”

Adora’s heart broke as she realized Catra overheard her conversation with Shadow Weaver. “No, that’s not true! Don’t listen to Shadow Weaver; this isn’t about her!”

Catra finally managed to shove Adora hard enough, causing her to go flying. She knew Adora already made her decision, but naively, Catra thought if she put herself out there as an option, Adora might change her mind. “ _Why_? Why are you like this? Why do you always have to sacrifice _everything_ for everyone else? When do you get to choose? What do _you_ want, Adora?”

Catra’s question completely surprised Adora. No one had ever asked her that before. Although deep down, she knew the answer, she didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t say anything because _she had to save Etheria_. Adora had to think of the greater good here. Besides, she was most likely going to die because of the Failsafe. “I… I have to do this, Catra. I’m the only one who can.”

Catra’s heart tore into a thousand pieces. She already knew Adora’s answer, but it still brought her pain she only dreamed about beforehand. Catra never wanted to feel like that again, and the best way to avoid that pain was to leave. Catra wiped her tears and looked away. “Then do it. That’s what you want; that’s what you’ll always choose. I don’t have to stay and watch it happen.”

“Catra, please, stay. I need you.”

Catra saw Adora begging on her knees out of the corner of her eye, but she felt so dead inside that she couldn’t care less. She had to protect her own heart at some point, and Adora seemed desperate enough to say anything at the moment. Adora was just fine these last few years without Catra, and Adora’s life wouldn’t change no matter what Catra decided. “No, you don’t. You never have.”

Then, Melog shielded Catra with an invisibility cloak, leaving Adora to stare at an empty Whispering Woods.

Adora knew Catra was already gone, but she cried out for her one last time. She knew Catra wasn’t coming back, but Adora had to grieve for her lost love.

The love that could have been in another life. Maybe if Adora hadn’t left the Horde, they could be ruling Etheria side by side. Maybe if Adora was never She-Ra. Or maybe if Adora refused the Failsafe, letting herself be selfish for once in her life.

Adora thought about the possibilities, alternate universes where she was happy with Catra. She wondered what they were like. Did they live in Bright Moon’s palace? Were they on their own, moving every few days as wanderers with nothing but a few scraps of food and each other? Or maybe they were in each other’s arms as Etheria crumbled into pieces. They would be smithereens in seconds, but it didn’t matter because they would die _together_. Together, like it should have always been.

However, pondering on these scenarios was useless. Adora could think and dream all she wanted, but it didn’t change the fact that none of it would ever happen, because, in this life, Adora and Catra weren’t together. In this life, they were more alone than either of them ever was before. And in this life, despite growing up together, Adora didn’t have enough time to memorize Catra’s face before she left. Adora thought that there could never be enough time in the world for that.

So, Adora and Catra prepared themselves to spend the rest of their lives wondering about their great love. A love that could have reached the stars, conquered universes, and ignited magic, if given a chance to bloom. But like a neglected flower, their love wilted and withered to dust. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you ell, and you come hang out on [tumblr](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)!


	25. S05E12 Heart Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra on the precipice of getting together. And the end of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second to last drabble, here we go! I gotta say, other than /that/ scene in 5x13, my favorite part to write in this entire drabble series was probably adora and mara in this chapter. anyway, hope you enjoy!

Catra sat on Melog’s back as they sprinted through the Whispering Woods, running further away from The Rebellion’s hideout. Further away from _Adora_.

She pondered on the last conversation she had with Adora. Catra was as straightforward as she could be, and it hurt more than any pain Prime could inflict when Adora let her down. Adora was so busy sacrificing herself that she never even thought about what she wanted. And based on her final answer, Catra knew she would never be enough. Catra would _not_ spend the rest of her life being second best to life-threatening situations. Adora would rather jump head-first into death's grip than be with Catra.

Well, Catra would not accept it, but that did not mean she wanted to leave. She just felt that it was her only option. Still, Catra looked behind her and wondered whether or not she did the right thing.

Melog must have sensed something was wrong because they suddenly screeched to a halt, throwing Catra on the ground.

“Ow! What’s wrong with you?”

Melog stood in front of Catra, meowing.

“Stop it. _Stop it_!” She pushed them away. “I told you, I’m _not_ going back.”

Melog growled lowly and pinned Catra to the ground. Tears escaped her eyes, and she was frustrated with Melog insistence to turn back. “You saw what happened! Adora chose Shadow Weaver, okay?! Not me! Adora doesn’t want me!” Catra lowered her voice and looked away. “Not like I want her.”

Melog comforted Catra by licking her cheek, and Catra sat up and hugged them. They stood still for a few moments, and Catra was glad that she had someone to lean on in tough times, even if that someone happened to be a magical cat.

Suddenly, Catra heard footsteps approaching. Melog shielded them with invisibility, just to be safe. It was a good thing they did because moments later, a Horde soldier appeared. Catra thought it was strange for a random soldier to be walking alone in the Whispering Woods, especially with such purpose. A split second later, she decided to follow.

Catra followed the Horde soldier to a giant outpost. She looked down and gasped, recognizing First Ones’ writing. Then, she looked up and gasped again at a giant machine surrounded by dozens of clones. It was a lot to take in, and Catra’s heart sank as she realized that Horde Prime was planning something _big_ , something that would destroy everything in its wake if given a chance. Whatever Prime had in store would probably ruin Etheria forever.

After almost getting caught by the real Hordak, Catra hid behind a rock and listened carefully. Horde Prime channeled Hordak’s body to speak to his army. “My brothers. The time has come at last. No longer shall She-Ra stand in my way. The Heart shall be laid bare, its power mine for the taking.”

When the surrounding clones began chanting, Catra realized in horror that Horde Prime discovered the Heart, and he found a way to activate it without She-Ra. _He was taking the Heart for himself. It was only a matter of time before Prime destroyed Etheria._

Catra watched the First Ones' writing on the ground light up a sickeningly neon green as it traveled through the Whispering Woods. “Adora,” Catra said, realizing that Adora had no idea what was happening. Regardless of Catra’s pain, she had to warn her friend, at least. Catra couldn’t just _abandon_ her, no matter how many times Adora hurt her.

Catra wondered if this was what unconditional love was like—suffering the most unimaginable pain but willing to drop everything just to help the person you loved. Catra always imagined that real love would be all chaos and passion, but these emotions did not feel like that. Unconditional love felt different—it reminded Catra of the first time she saw Etheria after being in space for months. The love Catra felt for Adora saw no end, even though she didn’t think she would see Adora again. Their love was infinite, just like the stars in the sky and galaxies in the universe.

So, without wasting another minute, Catra knew what she had to do. “We have to warn Adora!” She cried, swinging a leg over Melog’s back as Melog broke into a run.

* * *

“It’s okay, Adora. We’ll be with you the whole way, and when we get back, it’ll be a whole new world.”

Adora bit her tongue and looked down, opting not to say anything. She would break her own heart if she destroyed Bow's optimism. These were potentially the last few moments she had with her friends, and Adora wanted them to be memorable. She knew there was no going back for her. This was the end of the line.

Suddenly, Adora heard a familiar laugh. She gasped and looked up, fully alert. “Did you guys hear that?”

“What?” Glimmer asked.

Adora would recognize that laugh anywhere, under any circumstance. She always knew what Catra's laugh sounded like, even when they were enemies. A spark of hope ignited inside Adora's chest. _Had Catra come back after all?_ “Catra?” Adora called, jogging toward the source of the noise.

Adora turned the corner, and lo and behold; there was Catra. “Hey, Adora.”

Adora felt tears of sheer joy prickle her eyes. “Catra, you came—“

“Adora!” Bow interrupted, forcing Adora to look away.

When Adora turned back, multiple versions of Catra walked toward her. When simulated Catra reached Adora, she pressed her forehead against hers. Adora knew it wasn’t real, but she could not help herself—she smiled and leaned into Catra’s touch. However, in a blink, Catra was gone. It was like Adora had dreamt the whole thing.

“You’re going the wrong way; the trail is back here.” Bow said, suddenly appearing with Glimmer. “You okay?”

Without looking at her friends, Adora spoke. “We need to be careful. It looks like this place can still project memories,” she said, collecting herself to face her friends. “We can’t let it distract us,” Adora said, whisking past Bow and Glimmer.

Bow and Glimmer could tell Adora saw something hurtful. Adora only confirmed their suspicions when she briefly lost control of She-Ra. However, Bow and Glimmer knew if they brought it up, Adora would brush it off. Adora would insist that it wasn't a big deal even though she was dealing with a fresh heartache while attempting to save Etheria at the same time.

Bow and Glimmer knew their friend was in a lot of pain, but at the moment, there was nothing they could do. It was not like Glimmer could teleport Catra—none of them had any idea where she went. So, Bow and Glimmer followed Adora, vowing to be there for her in every way they could. 

* * *

After running for what felt like forever, Catra made it back to the hideout, panting furiously. “Adora! Adora!”

Someone else answered instead. “She’s not here,” Shadow Weaver said.

“What do you mean, ‘she’s not here’? Where is she!”

Shadow Weaver stood and approached Catra. “She’s gone to the Heart of Etheria to free the magic and become the hero she was born to be. If you are still so selfish as to try and stop—”

Catra furiously grabbed Shadow Weaver’s lapels. “ENOUGH! This isn’t about you and your messed up power trip anymore. Prime is doing something to the planet. He’s… _infecting_ it. He’s going for the Heart.”

Shadow Weaver processed the information, but before she could respond, they heard a noise. They both went outside and saw a giant hologram of Horde Prime in the sky.

“Rejoice, Etheria, for your day of reckoning has come. I offered you mercy, but you have spurned my good graces. _So be it._ ”

Prime dragged Entrapta to his side, using her hair. Entrapta was crying. “I’m sorry.”

Catra grew furious by the minute. She had no idea what The Rebellion initially planned, but if Prime captured Entrapta, things weren't going well. She had to get to Adora, no matter what Prime said. “Your resistance has been for naught; your She-Ra has abandoned you. All that is left for your world is a terrible and eternal night.” Then, the hologram flickered off.

Catra turned to Shadow Weaver, panicking. “Take us to Adora _now_!”

“She’s too far away by now; we’d never reach her in time!”

“No. Use your magic; I know you have more power than you’re letting on.”

“ _It doesn’t work that way_ , Catra.”

“You’ve done it before! When you—you abandoned me in the Fright Zone, and you’ve always been able to track us our whole lives, so _do_ something good with it for once and help me save Adora before it’s too late!” Catra cried desperately.

Shadow Weaver reached for something in her pocket. Catra thought Shadow Weaver would pull out a weapon, so she was surprised when Shadow Weaver presented an unidentified object. She held out her hand to Catra. “Come here.”

Catra’s eyes widened in shock. She could not believe her speech _worked_ since it was so unlike Shadow Weaver to be selfless, especially at the risk of injuring herself. However, there was no time to dwell on that now, so Catra grabbed Shadow Weaver’s hand.

Within moments, they were in the middle of the First Ones' citadel, standing in front of Bow and Glimmer.

“Catra?” Bow asked, bewildered.

Catra ignored him, latching onto Glimmer’s shoulders instead. “Where’s Adora?!”

Glimmer had tears in her eyes. “She… she _left_ us. She’s headed to the Heart _on her own_.”

“Of course she’s gone! That’s what she does, isn’t it?” Catra screeched hysterically.

They were interrupted by a crumbling sound above their heads.

“Catra, what is going on?” Bow asked.

“Horde Prime is onto you. He’s—he’s hacking the planet. All of this… is from _him_.”

Bow and Glimmer looked at each other knowingly. “He’s gonna take the Heart,” Bow said.

“That’s not all. He’s got Entrapta,” Catra said.

“If Prime has Entrapta, that means the other princesses are still chipped. We have to get back up there,” Bow said.

“We _can’t_ just leave Adora,” Glimmer cried.

“I’ll stay. I’ll find her.” Catra was surprised that those words came out of her mouth, but there was no turning back. The unconditional love Catra held for Adora in her heart was strong and unwavering; it would not let Catra abandon Adora, even if she wanted to. 

“Catra…” Glimmer began.

“I can’t lose her again, okay!” Catra cried. Then, she looked down, preparing herself for what she was about to say. Catra was scared, but Bow and Glimmer had to understand just how much Adora meant to her. “I promised her a long time ago that I’d look out for her. It’s time I made good on that.”

Bow and Glimmer stood still for a few moments. Catra’s feelings were unspoken, but they knew. Catra suspected that Glimmer knew the second Catra sacrificed herself for the princess, while Bow caught on during Adora and Catra’s reunion. However, neither Bow nor Glimmer felt the need to say anything. Adora and Catra’s love was so powerful that they could go the rest of their lives without confessing, and their love would still be crystal clear. Part of Bow thought Adora and Catra’s love was always like that, even when they fought on opposite sides.

Adora and Catra’s love gave Glimmer so much hope, and she felt privileged to witness how much they cared for each other. Glimmer thought about how lucky you had to be to have someone like that, but Glimmer suspected she had that person right in front of her. Adora and Catra’s love was so inspiring that Glimmer was seriously considering confessing her own feelings. She briefly thought of Bow before she smiled and threw her arms around Catra. “Take care of her, Horde scum.”

All three of them knew that Glimmer meant that in more ways than one. Catra returned the hug. “That’s the plan, Sparkles. And… good luck.”

Bow put his arms around Catra and Glimmer. “The four of us don’t need luck. _We’re the Best Friends Squad._ ”

As Bow hugged them tightly, Catra realized that for the first time, she believed it.

* * *

When Adora opened her eyes, she stood on a cliff overlooking Etheria. This was not an Etheria she knew. It must be what Etheria looked like with magic. Adora was sure she had never seen anything so beautiful in her life.

Despite the breathtaking view, Adora could have never missed the person that came up to her side. _Mara._

They stood in silence for a few moments before Adora spoke. “I’m going to save Etheria, no matter what it takes. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain, _I promise_.”

“But at what cost?”

Of all the things Mara could have said, Adora certainly wasn’t expecting that. She gasped and looked at Mara.

“I never wanted to die. I sacrificed myself, so you would never have to. Why are you doing this, Adora?”

“It’s better this way. My friends will be safe; they’ll be happy.”

Mara cupped Adora’s face. “And you? What do you want when this is all over?”

“I…” Adora trailed off, at a loss for words. Secretly, she knew the answer to that; she always had. If Adora could, she would choose Catra in a heartbeat. But Adora also knew that there was no way they could beat Prime if she didn't sacrifice herself. How Adora admit what she wanted? That would be incredibly selfish of her, and she couldn't bear that.

Adora remembered what Catra asked her before she ran off. _When do you get to choose? What do you want, Adora?_ God, Adora _wanted_. If she could, she would spend the rest of her life showing Catra that all she wanted was her. But it was in Adora’s blood and bones to be selfless—it was just how she was built. She wished things could be different, but her wants and needs did not matter when Etheria was at stake. “It doesn’t matter. I’m She-Ra, this is what I’m supposed to do.”

Just then, the simulation glitched, and Adora recognized that something was wrong. They must be out of time. Mara held her hands. “You’re worth more than what you can give to other people. You deserve love, too.”

Tears brimmed in Adora’s eyes. This was _Mara_ telling her that she was worthy enough to find her own love. It meant more than it could have from anyone else. Adora dared to hope that maybe this battle would not end in her death. Perhaps she would survive and tell Catra how she felt.

“You’re so close, Adora. Don’t give up yet.”

Adora nervously backed away as the entire simulation turned green. “Mara? What’s—”

“Ah.” Adora’s heart sank as she recognized the voice. She turned around. “Adora. So this is where you’ve run to hide.”

Adora instantly forgot all about what Mara said, consumed with the need to protect and die for Etheria once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you ell for being an incredible beta, and come hang out on [tumblr](https://femmereddie.tumblr.com/)!


	26. S05E13 Heart Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catradora _finally_ get together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we made it to the end, folks!! I genuinely cannot believe it. thank you all for sticking around and reading my stuff, it means the world to me and more <3.

This was it. This was the end.

Adora clutched her side in agony. She panted as beads of sweat trickled down her face. Adora could not believe that she was about to lose to a creepy monster she could take out in her sleep if she was She-Ra.

Keyword: _if._ Adora was gravely injured and unable to transform back into She-Ra. She thought she would die by activating the Failsafe, but dying on the ground in unbearable pain? Handed to a monster on a silver platter like she was the main course of his meal? It was not worth it. None of this was worth it. _Letting Catra go_ was not worth it. However, there was nothing Adora could do because she was still about to die at the hands of some weird squid, and Catra would never know how much Adora loved her.

It was safe to say Adora’s day was going terribly.

Suddenly, Adora heard a growl. She looked up and saw Catra charge at the creature, landing on her feet just a few meters away. “Hey, Adora,” Catra said, out of breath.

“Catra! You can’t be here; it’s too dangerous!” Adora tried to move, but she tripped. Right into Shadow Weaver’s arms. “Shadow Weaver?”

Adora was shocked at the twist of events, but she wasn't unhappy. Shadow Weaver’s presence bewildered her, but Catra’s? Adora broke Catra’s heart beyond repair, and Catra _still_ came back to save her. Catra came back for _her_. Adora tried to stifle her singing heart as she realized how much she loved her best friend.

“Get Adora to the Heart, I’ll take care of this thing,” Catra said.

“Catra, no!” Adora cried. She was _not_ okay with that plan.

Catra’s stern gaze softened when she turned to Adora. “I’ll catch up, okay? Get to the Heart.” However, nobody in the room—not Catra, Shadow Weaver, or Adora herself—believed her words.

Shadow Weaver pulled Adora away despite her protests. “No, no. Catra!”

But Catra was too busy fighting the monster to hear Adora wailing.

* * *

Catra managed to knock down the monster, but she barely caught her breath before the First Ones' writing on the floor lit up neon green. She knew what that meant—Horde Prime was _here_. She had to get to Adora and warn her before anything happened.

As soon as Catra ran into the tunnel that Adora and Shadow Weaver entered minutes earlier, she heard a familiar cackle. Her heart sank, and her stomach twisted in knots as a hologram of Horde Prime appeared.

“Oh, little sister. What a shame. I had such high hopes for you.”

Catra would not show Prime how terrified she was. She would not fall under his spell, or anyone else’s, ever again. She would not succumb to his manipulation, even if she knew he could destroy her with a flick of his hand.

Unfortunately, Catra did not realize the only reason Prime appeared was to distract her. The monster got up and wrapped a tentacle around Catra’s ankle. Catra screamed, feeling stupid that she fell for another one of Horde Prime’s tricks, despite promising herself she wouldn’t. But Catra did not realize she screamed so loud that the cavern shook down the tunnel to Adora and Shadow Weaver.

Adora’s skin prickled. _Catra was in trouble._ She had to go back. “No. No, wait.”

“Don’t lose your focus, we’re so close,” Shadow Weaver said.

Shadow Weaver and Adora reached a glowing orb. _The Heart of Etheria._ However, Adora could not concentrate because of the sharp pain in her hip, a cruel reminder that she let Catra take the fall when Adora should have died. Adora shouldn’t have left. Since when did she let her friends die for her, anyway? She could not hand over the Failsafe without Catra, and Catra’s screams only solidified that.

Adora heard Catra howl again, and Adora suddenly didn't care if she died stumbling on her way back to Catra—she _had_ to save her. _Adora_ was supposed to die at the monster's hands, _not_ Catra. Adora would never forgive herself if Catra died in her place. Groaning in agony, Adora put one foot in front of the other, retracing her path to Catra. It was ironic—no matter what Adora did, all roads led back to Catra.

“Adora, wait!” Shadow Weaver cried, but Adora ignored her.

Meanwhile, the monster used its leverage to drag Catra toward him. She tried using her nails to hold her ground, but it was pointless. All they did was screech uncomfortably loud across the floor, leaving claw marks.

Prime ruthlessly taunted her. “So brave risking yourself for Adora, but it will make no difference. The Heart is almost mine, and when it is, _your Adora will die_.”

Catra’s eyes widened, realizing she tried her best, but it was not enough. The monster flung Catra into the air and dangled her. Then, he dragged Catra dangerously close to his jaw.

“So tell me, little sister, _was it worth it_?”

Catra closed her eyes, refusing to answer. She knew this was the end, but she would not give Prime any satisfaction. Tears stung her eyes as she faced death head-on. In any other moment, Catra would chastise herself for fearing death, something she thought she would never be afraid of. But when was the last time she was this close to the end? When Hordak planned to torture her in front of other Horde soldiers? At the time, Catra was devoid of any emotion. She was alone, and nothing mattered to her. But now? Catra thought she had lost everything when she left Adora, but she had built a life for herself. She had real friends. She had Melog. This time, Catra was bursting with love instead of wallowing in bitter hollowness. Now, she was afraid to die because she had so much left to say, but her words would die on her lips as Prime’s monster swallowed her whole.

Catra waited for the inevitable, but a spark of black magic zapped the monster’s jaw, forcing him to release Catra. She tumbled to the floor and landed with a thud.

Catra looked up. She was stunned to see who it was. “Shadow Weaver?”

“Take Adora and run!”

Catra watched as Shadow Weaver cast spells at the monster. Catra stood up, but she did not move, wholly mesmerized by Shadow Weaver’s rescue. “What are you—”

“ _I told you to run! Now run!_ ” Shadow Weaver shrieked, using magic to send Catra down the tunnel.

Catra was out of her mind. She was absolutely out of her mind. Here was her former abuser, a person who inflicted the most pain on her (other than Horde Prime), ready to sacrifice herself. Catra couldn’t just leave her, no matter how badly Shadow Weaver had hurt her. Catra stood up, but Shadow Weaver ignited a transparent wall at the tunnel’s entrance before Catra could do anything. She banged on the wall hysterically. “Shadow Weaver, _no_! What are you doing?!”

“Please, Catra. You need to make sure Adora reaches the Heart. The magic must be set free.”

Catra only watched as the monster freed himself from Shadow Weaver’s magic and fought against her. “Stop it; it’s going to kill you!”

“It’s too late for me. But you… this is only the beginning for you. I am so proud of you, Catra.”

Before that moment, if anyone had told Catra that Shadow Weaver would swoop in at Catra’s deathbed, save her, and sacrifice herself, Catra would have laughed. _Shadow Weaver?_ Saving Catra while sacrificing herself? Catra expected Perfuma to stop believing in love before _that_ happened. And Shadow Weaver telling Catra how she was proud of her? This had to be some crazy, wacky dream because nothing made sense. Catra owed absolutely nothing to Shadow Weaver, but hearing Shadow Weaver's words made Catra desperate to do something. With tears in her eyes, Catra wailed, “No! No!”

Catra raised her fist to break through the blockade, but someone’s hand stopped her. “Catra?” Adora croaked.

Catra looked at Adora, acknowledging her presence, before turning back to Shadow Weaver one last time.

In elated horror, Adora and Catra watched Shadow Weaver sacrifice herself to save their lives. After Shadow Weaver and the monster vanished, Adora and Catra remained silent as they absorbed what happened. Catra slowly began to accept that she couldn’t have done anything, despite tears streaming down her face. At that moment, she knew that she would never have the heart to forgive Shadow Weaver, but Catra was thankful for her former abuser’s last act being one of bravery and heroism.

Adora burst into tears, completely shocked. Just minutes earlier, she was walking down the tunnel with Shadow Weaver. Adora still despised her, but the last thing she expected was Shadow Weaver to die for them. Honestly, Adora expected Shadow Weaver to backstab The Rebellion and take the Heart for herself before _this_. Adora cried because of the shocking twist of events and because she might have been secretly relieved that Shadow Weaver died instead of Catra. No, she was definitely relieved.

Eventually, Catra placed a hand on Adora’s shoulder. “Come on. We have to go.”

Adora and Catra shared a glance, knowing they couldn't waste any more time. Adora stood and hugged Catra instead of saying what she wanted to say. _You came back for me. I’m happy that it wasn’t you that died at the monster’s hands. I could not think of any other person I’d rather reach the Heart of Etheria with than you._ Maybe if Adora managed to live after all this was over, she would tell Catra everything she felt, but for now, they simply hugged and staggered down the tunnel together, holding each other the whole way through.

* * *

Catra quickly realized that Adora was still in a lot of pain because of her injury, so she steadily held her friend while they walked toward the Heart. Adora caught Catra’s eye, and as usual, Catra stared at her like there was nobody else in the world. At that moment, there truly wasn’t anyone else.

Before Adora and Catra knew it, a glowing object appeared in front of them. They finally reached the Heart, and they both gasped in awe.

“The Heart of Etheria. We made it,” Adora said.

Adora approached the center of the platform, ready to transform into She-Ra to unleash the Heart’s magic. However, as she attempted to channel She-Ra, the pain in her hip worsened considerably. Instead of a dull, throbbing ache, Adora felt like someone was butchering her alive. She screamed as glowing green lines filled her skin.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Catra asked, catching a stumbling Adora.

“I don’t—I don’t know. I can’t transform.” The Heart shook around them. “It’s Prime’s virus; it’s keeping me from becoming She-Ra.”

“What does that mean? Is the failsafe not going to work without her?” Catra asked, although considering that she dreaded the answer, Catra had a feeling she knew what Adora would say.

Adora looked down at her chest, where the Failsafe glowed. She was not upset since she always knew it would come down to this. However, Adora’s heart did twinge in disappointment because she would not live the life Mara wanted her to live. “No, it’ll work.” She paused, then looked at Catra. “Get as far away from here as you can. I have to do this next part on my own.”

“ _Adora, what is going to happen to you?_ ” Catra demanded.

Adora walked away. “Without She-Ra, the magic will destroy me. I’m sorry, Catra. I’m so sorry. But there’s no more time. It has to end here. I can still save everybody.” Adora approached Catra again, placing her hands on Catra’s head and pressing her forehead against hers. Adora felt idiotic for thinking that a simulated Catra could ever be real. Pressing her forehead against a fake Catra's was nothing compared to the real thing. “It’s okay. I’m ready.”

Catra would not accept Adora’s fate. Well, maybe she didn’t have a choice, but Catra could choose to be there for Adora every step of the way. If Adora had to die, then she could spend her last moments with Catra. Somehow, Catra knew Adora would like that. Besides, this was better than running away with a broken heart. Long after Adora was gone, Catra knew she would be comforted by the fact that their last moments together would be in each other’s arms instead of intensely fighting with each other.

So, when Adora pulled away, Catra grabbed her hands. “No.”

“Catra…” 

“No! I’m not leaving. Whatever happens, I am staying with you.”

Adora approached the center of the platform again, and Catra lightly held onto her arm. Catra knew that she would have to let go of Adora eventually, but she wasn’t ready yet. Then again, would Catra ever be prepared to let the love of her life die? There would never be a moment where Catra could confidently say, “let’s do this,” but she wanted to hold on for as long as she could.

Adora and Catra stared at the Heart of Etheria in silence. Suddenly, Adora fell back into Catra’s arms, screaming once again. Catra saw the Failsafe glitch in Adora’s chest, so she did not react in time to catch Adora before she collapsed on the ground.

“Adora?” Catra knelt beside Adora and gently turned her over. _This was it. Adora was dying. She was really dying._ Although Catra could not stop what was happening, she collected Adora in her arms and said, “No, no, no, no, no. No! No!”

As the Heart of Etheria beat louder, Catra looked up and saw Horde Prime’s infection consume the Heart. Moments later, green lightning spasmed, and Catra tightened her grip on Adora, shielding her from the bolt. After a few moments, she pulled away. “Adora? Adora, stay awake!”

Adora opened her eyes. She should have noticed the swirling green magic infecting the heart, but all she saw was her beloved Catra.

Catra had no idea what Adora stared at, so she looked up too. When nothing out of the ordinary happened, she looked back down at Adora, more confused than ever.

“I’m sorry,” Adora whispered as Catra cupped her face. Adora placed her hand on top of Catra’s.

“Adora!” Catra cried, pulling her close. “Adora!”

When Adora closed her eyes one last time, Catra’s screams were nothing but faint echoes wailing through the cavern walls.

* * *

When Adora opened her eyes, she gasped. Something felt off, but she could not figure out why. She looked at her reflection in a fancy water fountain while inspecting her outfit: a long, simple, and elegant white gown. Hair brushed back and styled. A piece of jewelry on her head. _She looked like she was going to a ball._

Just then, the door opened. Glimmer and Catra burst in as Glimmer chased Catra, attempting to brush her hair. Adora noticed they were also dressed in ball clothing.

“Don’t let her touch me; she’s gonna torture me!” Catra cried playfully, using Adora as a shield.

“Do you _always_ have to be _this_ dramatic?” Glimmer asked, but she was smiling.

“Come on, guys!” A deep voice boomed. Adora turned just as Bow approached them. “If we’re late to Scorpia’s first ball, she’s gonna kill us.”

Bow wrapped his arm lovingly around Glimmer’s shoulder, and Glimmer leaned into his touch. “Fine! You’re off the hook. _This time._ ”

Catra stuck out her tongue triumphantly. This banter was happening so fast, and Adora barely had time to process any of it. This scenario was all Adora wanted, but it seemed like it was a dream too good to be true. She was afraid that if she let her guard down, she would wake up.

Bow and Glimmer walked out shortly after that. Catra started following, but she turned back and held out her hand. “You coming?”

All of Adora’s concerns faded away when Catra offered her hand. She smiled and reached for it, but she was caught off guard when Adora’s hand fell right through Catra’s. _A simulation. Of course._ How could Adora not realize it before? She chastised herself for being so careless.

Adora watched as Catra transformed into Horde Prime, but she did not feel pressured to defend herself. Adora felt like everything was hopeless, and Prime’s words only confirmed that. “A beautiful wish. But there will be no future. Not for _you_.”

Adora did not know what to do, but it did not matter because Prime immediately wrapped a large ribbon around Adora, suffocating her. The ribbon was heavy, and it dragged her down into nothingness. Adora screamed, but the farther she fell, the more useless she felt. She closed her eyes, ready to give up until she heard a voice.

“Adora! Please! You have to wake up!” Catra cried desperately, standing in the light and holding out her hand.

Of course, Catra was not in the simulation, so through her eyes, Adora lay lifeless in her arms. “You can’t give up. You have never given up on anything in your life. Not even on me. So don’t you dare start now!”

Catra’s hand was so close that Adora almost felt warmth reverberating from it. Still, Catra seemed out of reach. Every time Adora inched forward, pain charged through her body, worsening with every attempt. Tears welled in her eyes. “It’s too late. I’ve failed.”

“No! No! I’ve got you, I’m not letting go,” Catra said, hugging Adora tightly. She did not even know where Adora’s consciousness lay or whether she was even alive, but Catra would not stop now. “Don’t you get it?! _I love you._ I always have. So please, just this once… _stay_.”

Adora felt too weak to portray her shock, but Catra’s words did give her enough energy for one final boost. Adora pushed herself up and grabbed Catra’s hand.

But Catra had no idea whether Adora heard her or not. She buried her face in Adora’s neck, praying with everything she had that Adora would live. “Stay.” 

Catra did not care that the Heart was about to explode and that the world would crash over their heads. However, Catra turned her head once she heard something, followed by a bright light. She saw a brilliant rainbow transform into She-Ra’s shield. The shield vanished, but as Adora’s hand fell on Catra’s shoulder, Catra realized: _Adora did that. Catra’s words made Adora shield them. They made Adora want to live._ Maybe Adora had chosen Catra in the end, after all.

Adora opened her eyes and propped herself up. “You love me?” 

Catra did not expect Adora to be surprised, so she chuckled. “You’re such an idiot.” Catra knew at that moment, even if Adora did not return her feelings (although Catra had an inkling she did), they would be okay, no matter what. But Adora confirmed Catra’s suspicions when she dopily smiled. Catra’s facial expression grew serious as her insides burst into confetti. _Adora looked at Catra the same way Catra looked at Adora._

“I love you, too,” Adora finally said, as the Heart of Etheria beat steadily in the background.

Catra always thought that if this moment ever happened, she would shout from the rooftops: _Adora loves me!_ While Catra still wanted to do that, Adora almost died moments before. Catra wanted to feel Adora’s breath on hers; she wanted to feel her best friend’s heart thump. So, Catra grinned, cupped Adora’s face, and kissed her.

And God, was it a _kiss_. Adora and Catra were so immersed in each other that they did not see the Failsafe glow and explode, disappearing from Adora’s chest. Once the Failsafe dissolved, a sea of flying colors engulfed them. But Adora and Catra did not feel the Heart of Etheria’s magic—they barely noticed it at all. Neither of them would ever think about it, but they did not see the Heart’s magic because they were too wrapped up in their own love, magic that they created. The Failsafe may have freed Etheria’s magic, but it did not activate itself. Adora and Catra’s pure unconditional love, as bright and as magical as any star in the sky, ignited the Failsafe. Only love, the purest of its kind, in any form, could set Etheria’s magic free. After all, She-Ra came back to life because of Adora’s love for Catra. Now, the Heart released its magic because of the love they had for each other.

The rainbow surrounding Adora and Catra transformed into gold. Everything in the tunnel turned golden as Adora changed into She-Ra. Adora and Catra pulled away, and they both looked around, in awe of Etheria’s magic. _They did it._ They activated the Failsafe, unleashed the Heart, and restored magic to Etheria.

Adora wanted to stay in Catra’s embrace forever, but she knew she had some things to take care of first. She looked at Catra knowingly; then she stood and walked out of the citadel, golden beams of light reflecting on her.

As Adora walked, she witnessed the crumbling ground beneath her feet turn into fresh green grass. It never ceased to amaze Adora that within moments, the rest of Etheria would follow. She looked up at Horde Prime’s ship—now a brilliant gold—and used her sword to shoot magic toward it, transforming the vessel into a miniature forest. Next, Adora looked down and jammed She-Ra’s blade into the ground. Everyone watched as a golden wave swept away a dark and dreary Etheria.

Once the magic restored life to Etheria, Adora had one last thing to do. She approached Hordak, who Prime was still channeling. Whatever he said, Adora barely heard him, and more importantly, she did not care. She knelt and became face to face with Hordak-as-Prime. “No. You’re wrong. It’s time for you to go.”

So, Adora held Hordak’s face, using her magic to free Hordak and rid the world of Horde Prime once and for all.

* * *

Now that Adora restored Etheria’s magic and Horde Prime was gone for good, Catra had one last thing she had to do.

Scorpia was laughing with Perfuma, Emily, and Frosta, rejoicing the end of Prime’s reign. Catra nervously approached them, afraid of how Scorpia would react. Despite her fears, Catra wanted to apologize to Scorpia ever since she started becoming a better person.

When the princesses noticed Catra coming their way, they stopped laughing.

Catra gripped the back of her neck as her heart skipped several beats. “Hey, Scorpia. Look, I—”

Before Catra said anything, Scorpia scooped her up in her arms and hugged her.

“Oh, there it is,” Catra said. She felt like Scorpia was squeezing her to death, but Catra was secretly relieved that her friend forgave her. Once the celebrations cooled down, Catra would specifically apologize to Scorpia. Catra owed her friend accountability and respect, and she wanted to begin their renewed friendship with no skeletons in the closet. But for now, Scorpia understood that Catra was trying to apologize, which was enough for her.

“You know I’m a hugger.”

“Princess hug!” Perfuma suddenly cried, and she joined the embrace with Frosta. Now Catra _definitely_ felt like the princesses were squashing her. It was never a position Catra thought she would be in, but here she was.

And there was (almost) nowhere else Catra would rather be.

* * *

As everyone caught up with each other, Adora approached a clearing. She saw all of Etheria from where she stood, and it was her first chance to relish in the planet’s beauty. Subconsciously, Adora transformed back into herself, knowing She-Ra would always be there whenever she needed her.

Adora was blown away at the amount of life that thrived on Etheria, especially since it happened so fast. Adora was so mesmerized by the view that she did not hear Catra approach. “Adora?”

Adora turned and held out her hand. It was still so hard to believe that she could put herself first for once and choose what she wanted, and she was elated that Catra wanted her, too. The two of them have come a long way—from growing up as best friends to becoming enemies, to reuniting, to becoming best friends again, to falling in love, and finally admitting their feelings to each other. It was surreal to Adora, and the best part was it wasn’t a dream. Loving Catra and being loved in return was the most real thing Adora felt in her life, and she could not wait to spend eternity with her best friend and soulmate.

Catra took Adora’s hand, and they pressed their foreheads together. “It’s over. He’s gone,” Adora said.

“Good riddance,” Catra agreed.

They stood still for a few moments, basking in Etheria’s warm glow. Then, Bow and Glimmer snuck up from behind and tackled them. The Best Friends Squad rolled down the hill, laughing together. When they slid to a stop, they had their arms around each other.

Bow propped himself up. “So, what are we gonna do now?”

Adora sighed and looked up at the glittering sky. “We can bring magic back to the universe. What do you guys say to one more Best Friends Squad road trip?” She said as they all stood.

“I’m in!” Glimmer cried.

“Obviously!” Bow agreed.

“Of course I’m going with you, dummy,” Catra said, playfully rolling her eyes.

Adora smiled at her friends and hugged them once again. She couldn’t wait to start the rest of their lives. “Then let’s do this. _Together._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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